Quote Originally Posted by HermitGirl View Post
Another thing has occurred to me : I met my DH when I was race-fit, and 50 pounds smaller and buffer, and well, I think I let my whole self image shape itself around his impression of me (or my perception of his impression of me) , and so, talk about unrealistic expectations to be upheld. Many married women know how emotionally constricting it is to have a false halo or bunch of old worn-out expectations as baggage to carry in a relationship. I realized just as I was getting choked by my own guilt, that I am getting choked by a degree of percieved expecation from my DH, and that does *nothing* good for a marriage, believe me. A real lose-lose situation, but one I must own up to, and take full responsibility in turning around. Oy. Hard work on all fronts !

This may not seem like your primary concern - but it is a huge deal. I totally know what you mean. My husband met me when I was a mess - 28 and a heavy drinker and smoker and 110 lbs and a size 2. I look at pics of me from then and often feel very remiss that I gained all the weight when I quit smoking and drinking. But the truth of the matter is, you were probably too skinny before and now you're just right. It's just hard to put it in perspective, ya know? I can relate.

I like the idea of slow riding. I'm competitive too. Slowing down is not a bad thing (easier said than done.)

I am competing in a 1/2 marathon in October and asked my husband if he would join me. He said, "nah, I'm just gonna take my bike out to the drive and tuck a book in my jersey and wait for you guys to run by..." it almost made me want to cancel my registration so I can join him instead! LOL.

+1 "just go ride and have fun."