I just want to love to ride again.

[HermitGirl]

God that sounds fabulous. Now to get good enough to go some sort of distance. (I love to knit and read, too!).

Heck, I've wanted to post a SlowRider forum forever, never found one. On the SlowRiders forum , the motto would be "ride fast enough,just to keep the bike upright, and from falling over." All about panniers and packing them for a tour of your hometown, or your neighborhood, suburban backroads, whatever. Chase after and log the wonderful Vista Spots!

Knitter too? COol.

Another cool item for panniers : pruners, to make cuttings along the way to propogate. I love to garden as well.

[HermitGirl]

Another thing has occurred to me : I met my DH when I was race-fit, and 50 pounds smaller and buffer, and well, I think I let my whole self image shape itself around his impression of me (or my perception of his impression of me) , and so, talk about unrealistic expectations to be upheld. Many married women know how emotionally constricting it is to have a false halo or bunch of old worn-out expectations as baggage to carry in a relationship. I realized just as I was getting choked by my own guilt, that I am getting choked by a degree of percieved expecation from my DH, and that does *nothing* good for a marriage, believe me. A real lose-lose situation, but one I must own up to, and take full responsibility in turning around. Oy. Hard work on all fronts !

[HermitGirl]

Zen ~ I believe that's where riding was born for me, in the quiet place of my life, but as you follow the story, it's when other people came into that quiet place, did it evolve out of quietness. I want the quiet back, I crave it. I crave being able to hear the slow gurgle of the creek up the mtn, and the wind in the spokes, and the rustle in the autumn leaves. Oh... I can't wait.

Hey, do you play accordion, or what?

[HappyTexasMom]

BTW I love the term "Slow Riding". Doesn't hurt that it makes me feel better.

I do want to get fit, so I don't want all of my rides to be too slow, but I figure if I can ride 50 or more miles, not matter what the pace, I'll be ahead of where I'm at now.

I'm also a budding photographer, so this style of cycling melds perfectly with it. Now to move my butt somewhere that has scenery that I enjoy more (OregonOregonOregonOregon).

[HermitGirl]

BTW I love the term "Slow Riding". Doesn't hurt that it makes me feel better.

I do want to get fit, so I don't want all of my rides to be too slow, but I figure if I can ride 50 or more miles, not matter what the pace, I'll be ahead of where I'm at now.

I'm also a budding photographer, so this style of cycling melds perfectly with it. Now to move my butt somewhere that has scenery that I enjoy more (OregonOregonOregonOregon).

SlowRiding is a mentality, an attitude.... not an actual pace. It's all relative to the clutter keeping one agitated too much, not enjoying turning the crank.... or stopping to take photographs!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I suggest you get on your bike in plain old street clothes (with helmet though) and just go ride to have a cappuchino somewhere pleasant. Then ride home.
Think about making your bike a natural part of your everyday lifestyle instead of having biking be a big competition where every ride requires complicated preparations, special gear, and unpleasant emotions for you.
Sounds like you need to re-connect with your inner bicycle child.

[HermitGirl]

I suggest you get on your bike in plain old street clothes (with helmet though) and just go ride to have a cappuchino somewhere pleasant. Then ride home.
Think about making your bike a natural part of your everyday lifestyle instead of having biking be a big competition where every ride requires complicated preparations, special gear, and unpleasant emotions for you.
Sounds like you need to re-connect with your inner bicycle child.

I agree about the cappucchino and riding in street clothes. I don't fit into hardly *any* of my old riding clothes anyway. THe other day I just picked up my trail bike and started riding from my door up the ridge road, in my pants and t-shirt... it was thoroughly liberating to not have to GEAR UP for a ride. Thoroughly. Since driving to ride is not my forte, or philosophy, I think I will have to make that cappuccino with my campstove packed in panniers, at a nice turnout with a view of the valley, as I live on top of a mtn at around 2000 ft, ten miles from town. To ride into town to get to the fancy cafes is indeed an epic ride for me at this time (Zen, I did say "epic" _

I do definitely need to reconnect with my inner bicycle child, and not cringe at the thought of the old club riders passing me on the road (I live on a very popular mtn road-riding loop) .. barely recognising me, and then making me feel exphixiated in my own shame of not riding with them any longer .... whatEVER !!!! I think there's a degree of left over paranoia that just makes no sense any longer. Thanks.

[HappyTexasMom]

SlowRiding is a mentality, an attitude.... not an actual pace. It's all relative to the clutter keeping one agitated too much, not enjoying turning the crank.... or stopping to take photographs!

Well, I wasn't really taking it literally, although I see that it sounded like I was. I just meant that for some of the things I'd like to do, I'm not going to be able to take too much of a smell the roses approach, or I just won't be able to get them done. That said, I think it still fits in with doing what I want to do to enjoy my riding..

[Lakerider]

I ride alone most times. My favorite places to rides are near lakes & rivers. Just enjoying the nature around me is so calming. I do keep track of my miles but I'm not in compitition with anyone except maybe myself, improving my indurance. I hope that you can find your joy in riding again soon!

[indigoiis]

Another thing has occurred to me : I met my DH when I was race-fit, and 50 pounds smaller and buffer, and well, I think I let my whole self image shape itself around his impression of me (or my perception of his impression of me) , and so, talk about unrealistic expectations to be upheld. Many married women know how emotionally constricting it is to have a false halo or bunch of old worn-out expectations as baggage to carry in a relationship. I realized just as I was getting choked by my own guilt, that I am getting choked by a degree of percieved expecation from my DH, and that does *nothing* good for a marriage, believe me. A real lose-lose situation, but one I must own up to, and take full responsibility in turning around. Oy. Hard work on all fronts !

This may not seem like your primary concern - but it is a huge deal. I totally know what you mean. My husband met me when I was a mess - 28 and a heavy drinker and smoker and 110 lbs and a size 2. I look at pics of me from then and often feel very remiss that I gained all the weight when I quit smoking and drinking. But the truth of the matter is, you were probably too skinny before and now you're just right. It's just hard to put it in perspective, ya know? I can relate.

I like the idea of slow riding. I'm competitive too. Slowing down is not a bad thing (easier said than done.)

I am competing in a 1/2 marathon in October and asked my husband if he would join me. He said, "nah, I'm just gonna take my bike out to the drive and tuck a book in my jersey and wait for you guys to run by..." it almost made me want to cancel my registration so I can join him instead! LOL.

+1 "just go ride and have fun."

[ginny]

Ms Hermit,

I totally relate. I have been there... with alpine skiing. Oh man, I just LOVED to ski when I was a kid. I didn't know about form; I didn't care. I loved feeling the snow slide beneath me and I even loved falling down and seeing how much stuff I could lose each time I fell. I was the kid with the tree cops chasing me. Then, I went to college and I couldn't afford to ski. I joined ski patrol so I could ski for free. These were good skiers. They were technically accurate and fast and competitive. I got better - quite good in fact. Then the magic went away, then I burned out. My answer, quit ski patrol. Take up telemarking and snow boarding and skate skiing and x country skiing and ... well you get the picture. I think it's analogous to the advice you have received here. Ride when you feel like it. Recapture that joy - I love silly things on my townie bike - it helps me not take myself too seriously. Falling off is also quite good for my ego, but maybe that's just me. I like the picnic / knitting idea - how fun! Don't push it, and your sport will recapture yor imagination. Enjoy the journey!

[OakLeaf]

I could've written a lot of your post. Except it wasn't jealousy I burned out on, it was just futility. I knew going into it that I was never going to be a national caliber athlete, but I reached a point where I'd have to train like a national caliber athlete if I was going to get any faster. My life was work and training. It just stopped being fun. I didn't ride for twelve years.

What got me back into it was a Women's Quest retreat. It was the Northern California wine country retreat I did, actually. They're not cheap, but it was an amazingly wonderful experience that I'd recommend to anyone with the budget to afford it. One of the many things I came home with was the desire to get back on my bike. I'd finally been away from it long enough. And got reintroduced to it in an environment where any stupid voices in my head could get confronted right away.

I think you've gotten a lot of great suggestions (as usual around here!).