Welcome back, Jen. I can relate in a way. When I first started riding I immediately fell into triathlons. Started training fast, getting competitive and having fun. Then at some point it wasn't fun anymore (I gained about 20 lbs and couldn't keep up and started to feel unathletic, slow, fat, etc). This year I decided to not race. I'm riding slower and learning to look around and not just focus on the road in front of me. I did a 4 day supported tour and have taken the cyclometer off my bike. I'm trying to learn to love riding again, not because I can go fast, but because being on my bike is such a joy. Today I rode for 1.5 hours and had a great time. I took my time, stopped to take pictures, watched the ducks in the lake, noticed how the sun shone on the water, etc. When I got home I realized I only averaged 11 mph. If I'd known that on the ride, it would've bothered me and made me get all angry/competitive.

Go for some rides without the cyclometer, without your HR monitor, with a snack to stop and enjoy along the way, and just enjoy being outside on your bike.