friend coming out of the closet - tips appreciated

[shootingstar]

This might sound opposite of what I intend to say, but, really, I think the reason we have "gay bars," or "executive" restaurants is that generally, people want to be around people who are like themselves. *Especially* if you belong to a group that is marginalized or objectified in any way. It helps you deal with the crap that you get from others. I know that when I lived in AZ, I certainly was much more active in the Jewish community; I was on the board of the JCC, my kids went to pre school there, and I was a Sunday School teacher at my temple (I know, you can't believe it). It helped, especially in situations with the kids, being asked about X Mas, why they had to miss school for the High Holidays, etc. Strength in numbers. It felt like a safe place, a home.
When I moved back east, I still affiliated with a temple, but I don't feel the need to have to explain myself, my culture to everyone. ..........................................................................................................................As they came in and we were getting our gear together, we heard a man say very loudly, "Why are you staring? What's the matter? You've never seen a Black man skiing before?" Everyone laughed, but it was so true. People were staring at him, because they probably never had seen a Black person skiing...

Like Crankin, I went through all this type of identity strengthening/bonding when hanging out with other Chinese-Canadians for a few years after moving out to Toronto from living and growing up in predominantly white smaller cities. Often the Asian headcount at school in such cities..were my own siblings.

It ain't balkanization, TxDoc at times, people need affirmations of the best of their identity and if the dominant culture won't give it la or even understand it...then for the sake of one's psyche, be with some folks who will. The danger is staying exclusively in that group for all one's social needs.

As for the black person skiing...lol...here in Vancouver, BC, to see a black person cycling IS still highly noticeable at cycling events.