Elope?

[Reesha]

I imagine for myself and if all goes well in a few years, my current boyfriend a destination elopement. Nothing secret, no vegas, but somewhere beautiful and a place we'd feel good about going straight into our honeymoon. Bermuda has always been a favorite place, but other places I've thought about are the Mediterranean (Sicily particularly), Iceland. I really just want the wedding to be me and him (or whichever guy I end up marrying). I know it's nice for family to see, but I am also really into the intimacy of doing it privately. Ultimately the vows are between us and no one else. When we get back I want to plan a big lakeside bbq with a giant raspberry tiramisu!

Also I'd like to wear an ankle length strapless dress made of eyelet cotton

[indysteel]

We "eloped" and I loved it!

This was a second marriage for both of us, and we didn't want all of the hoopla that went with a wedding [again]. We didn't tell anyone we were getting married, but went and got the license and blood work early in the month, and planned a date and time at town hall. No witnesses required.

Funny story - I did plan on a new outfit (purchased specially for our 5 minute ceremony), grew my hair, and had a hair appt for an updo. Funnier? When I donned my new outfit, FDH said, in all seriousness, "You didn't buy that to get married in did you?" He hated it. So, five minutes before the ceremony at town hall, I was rifling in the closet and wore a burgundy silk suit I had there (DH wore khakis, sport coat and tie).

We went to the town hall where we were married by the town clerk - no friends, no relatives, no staff, just the three of us. Afterwards, we came home, changed clothes, packed the truck and drove to the Cape for the weekend (we got married on a Friday). When we returned home on Sunday, we called both sets of parents to tell them. I actually announced to all of our friends by email!

My in-laws did have a SMALL (immediate family only) party with cake for us, and my parents celebrated with us when they came for their next visit.

Would I do it this way again? Hopefully I never have to, but ABSOLUTELY YES! It is a very special memory to me - a day shared by my DH and I alone, focused on our marriage, and not on the wedding.

Good luck!

SheFly

That all sounds great. There is definitely some appeal to getting hitched here and then "running off" to our honeymoon. Between my boss and my former boss (both judges), City Hall, and any number of attorney friends who can become judge pro tems for the day, there are a lot of options.

When I look at places, say in California or Utah, that cater to destination weddings, whether elopement or otherwise, I start to sweat. Granted, I really do lack the bride gene, but it feels oddly contrived, but I like the idea of a romantic setting. We spent some time this spring in Tennessee. It would be nice to go back there (though not to Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg) for the ceremony.

Clearly, BF and I need to talk in depth about what we want. I'm the planner as between the two of us, but all of these decisions need to be made jointly. I'd like to at least present him with the most viable options, however.

Thanks for all the stories. I'd nice to see that so many of you don't have regrets and were able to fashion something that felt right for you. And congrats to Trek and Knotted!

And if TrekJeni is out there.....let me know what you decided to do about your own wedding. I haven't seen an update in a while.

[badger]

not sure if it's technically eloping as they had some friends, but my parents more or less eloped. My dad was in Africa doing some engineering work and my mother was in Japan. Her father didn't approve her marrying some white man, so she pretty much ran off to Africa to marry him. My grandfather was so upset he went to the local police office to say some foreigner's stealing his daughter!

My boyfriend and I don't really want to get married but we may eventually need to out of practicality (taxes, benefits, etc). If we need to, it would be super casual and with not many people present. I like the idea of running off somewhere warm and getting married in my bare feet.

[shootingstar]

not sure if it's technically eloping as they had some friends, but my parents more or less eloped. My dad was in Africa doing some engineering work and my mother was in Japan. Her father didn't approve her marrying some white man, so she pretty much ran off to Africa to marry him. My grandfather was so upset he went to the local police office to say some foreigner's stealing his daughter!

The police station story is a real twist..will remain forever in family folklore as good tale to tell. Guess it took your grandfather awhile (several yrs.?) to get over this one..ie. accept the marriage.

You don't need to say any more..lovechild.

[Iris616]

First, Congratulations!

After that, I didn't elope (although my dad encouraged it!)- And he had the right idea: The wedding is a day. The marriage is a lifetime. Focus on the lifetime, and what ever the two of you decide will be incredibly special for you. Have fun!

[indysteel]

First, Congratulations!

After that, I didn't elope (although my dad encouraged it!)- And he had the right idea: The wedding is a day. The marriage is a lifetime. Focus on the lifetime, and what ever the two of you decide will be incredibly special for you. Have fun!

Thanks, Iris for the well wishes and sound advice!

[Selkie]

I eloped and have no regrets. It'll be 21 years this August. Reasons for it were similar to yours. The money we would have spent on a wedding (yes, my dad would have never paid for it) was our down payment for our first house.

Both sets of parents had separate small parties for us to meet each others families.

No engagement ring, either. He gave me one on our 19th anniversary but I didn't want it and rarely wear it (it's very pretty but I'm too much of a clod and worry about losing the diamond).

A few years after we eloped, we were married by a priest but it was just w/my dad, DH's parents, and my brother & his wife present. We did that out of respect for my very traditional Irish/Catholic family. No mass, no fancy dress, no flowers - just the vows and a blessing.

[msincredible]

We eloped last December to SF City Hall. One friend came along as a witness and also took pictures. We booked it online a few days in advance - can't beat 5-minute wedding planning.

My parents and his mom were all for it (we talked about it in advance). His brother was the only one against it. It's my second marriage and his first.

The witness and a date took us out to dinner afterward.

[channlluv]

First, congratulations on getting married!

It's hard to add anything to what Knot and Trek said (you two are so romantic!), and GLC, too. The wedding should be what you want. Make it so.

My D*H and I sort of eloped, meaning we just went down to City Hall and were married by a clerk there. We didn't go off anywhere - didn't have the time or the money then. We celebrated with a dinner at one of the city's best restaurants and I had some pretty flowers and a new dress. (Second marriage for me, first for him.)

We never really had a honeymoon, either, as I was working as a teacher at the time and couldn't leave until summer vacation, which was still a couple of months away. As soon as school ended, we packed up and moved house to California. We drove cross-country in four days in a 24-foot Ryder truck. Not exactly a honeymoon.

We just celebrated our 14th anniversary, though, and just returned from a really wonderful vacation in Hawaii. We spent a a week in Waikiki and a few days on Maui, and if you're into tropical hikes, snorkeling, diving, and the like, I can highly recommend Maui as a place for a destination wedding. Apparently a lot of people choose this option because I saw "Just Maui'd" t-shirts there, and one of the frequent questions was whether we were celebrating a wedding or anniversary.

It truly is a romantic place. I can recommend the Ka'anapali Beach Hotel. It's low key, laid back, not at all commercially fussy like some big chains, and the people were really wonderful, and they have a small lawn right on the beach for weddings.

There's snorkeling right off the beach, too, and if you walk north about 200 yards, there are turtles at Black Rock, one of the most sacred places of ancient Hawaii, so it's pretty cool if you can catch it just before sunset - really creates a mood when the Hawaiian guy goes out to light the tiki torches along the top of the rock, does a chant, throws a lei into the water, then dives in from 20 feet up.

You can rent decent snorkel gear there, too, which saves on the packing. Go as light as you can. I pretty much lived in my bathing suit and sarong all week, with a couple of dresses for dinners out.

Wherever you choose to go, I wish you luck and a safe journey.

Much love,

Roxy

[indysteel]

We eloped last December to SF City Hall. One friend came along as a witness and also took pictures. We booked it online a few days in advance - can't beat 5-minute wedding planning.

My parents and his mom were all for it (we talked about it in advance). His brother was the only one against it. It's my second marriage and his first.

The witness and a date took us out to dinner afterward.

Awwwww. Congratulations! You both look so happy. And you look very pretty. I'd like to know more about SF City Hall. How much do they charge you and how do you arrange it? Most of the photos of weddings there look like big to-dos. But I love that area and would love to go there with him. Are you from California?

[snapdragen]

This might answer some questions...

http://www.sfgov.org/site/countyclerk_index.asp?id=5565

[indysteel]

Thanks, Snap! That is helpful. It sounds pretty easy. I like the idea of San Francisco. Back when I was in law school, I took a trip there that included a drive down the coast to Carmel, a few days in the city and then another few days in wine country, with a hike in Muir Woods on the way there. It was a fantastic vacation. Brian's never been. Hmmmmmmmm.

[Mr. Bloom]

Indy! You can't be talking about this until Silver and I have given our approval!

But, we had a HUGE wedding with all the pre-wedding family drama of the busy body aunts butting in. 30 minutes of music followed by a 10 minute procession, followed by an 8 minute ceremony, followed by a 3 hour exhausting reception.

Don't do it! Keep it small and simple...focus on the commitment and the celebration, not the event!

Put the money and planning into a biking honeymoon in Tuscany instead!

[Aggie_Ama]

We had a relatively large wedding mostly because I wanted to include our large families. We got married May 24 but on May 4 my dear Pawpaw died right before I graduated college May 9. So instead of having the most important man (behind my Dad) in my life there I was dealing with depression. His widow (my Nanny) has severe depression and could barely keep it together so I spent much of the wedding worrying about her. My Mammaw got ill and couldn't come. On the way to the wedding I would later find out my sister-in-law told my brother she wanted a divorce. The pastor gave a sermon that included a shout out to lingere which was bizarre. So to me the magic has never been in the day. My dress was gorgeous, the church I had wanted since I was a child, my flowers and cake perfect but the summer following a mess.

The marriage has been more than the wedding ever could be. My husband loved our wedding, it was an amazing day for him. For me, I am just glad I had the choice and married my best friend. We planned everything about our wedding, it completely had our personalities, right down to the purple beading on my dress. But was a big wedding all it is cracked up to be? Not in my case. The honeymoon was a blast though we stayed in state, even went to the zoo and stayed in less expensive hotels we already knew we loved. It was the best part of getting married!

Do what makes you happy and you will never regret it.

[msincredible]

Thanks, Snap! That is helpful. It sounds pretty easy. I like the idea of San Francisco. Back when I was in law school, I took a trip there that included a drive down the coast to Carmel, a few days in the city and then another few days in wine country, with a hike in Muir Woods on the way there. It was a fantastic vacation. Brian's never been. Hmmmmmmmm.

Glad Snapdragen found the link for you, that's exactly how we did it, arranged online. Feel free to PM me with any questions.