Elope?

[indysteel]

Thanks, Snap! That is helpful. It sounds pretty easy. I like the idea of San Francisco. Back when I was in law school, I took a trip there that included a drive down the coast to Carmel, a few days in the city and then another few days in wine country, with a hike in Muir Woods on the way there. It was a fantastic vacation. Brian's never been. Hmmmmmmmm.

[Mr. Bloom]

Indy! You can't be talking about this until Silver and I have given our approval!

But, we had a HUGE wedding with all the pre-wedding family drama of the busy body aunts butting in. 30 minutes of music followed by a 10 minute procession, followed by an 8 minute ceremony, followed by a 3 hour exhausting reception.

Don't do it! Keep it small and simple...focus on the commitment and the celebration, not the event!

Put the money and planning into a biking honeymoon in Tuscany instead!

[Aggie_Ama]

We had a relatively large wedding mostly because I wanted to include our large families. We got married May 24 but on May 4 my dear Pawpaw died right before I graduated college May 9. So instead of having the most important man (behind my Dad) in my life there I was dealing with depression. His widow (my Nanny) has severe depression and could barely keep it together so I spent much of the wedding worrying about her. My Mammaw got ill and couldn't come. On the way to the wedding I would later find out my sister-in-law told my brother she wanted a divorce. The pastor gave a sermon that included a shout out to lingere which was bizarre. So to me the magic has never been in the day. My dress was gorgeous, the church I had wanted since I was a child, my flowers and cake perfect but the summer following a mess.

The marriage has been more than the wedding ever could be. My husband loved our wedding, it was an amazing day for him. For me, I am just glad I had the choice and married my best friend. We planned everything about our wedding, it completely had our personalities, right down to the purple beading on my dress. But was a big wedding all it is cracked up to be? Not in my case. The honeymoon was a blast though we stayed in state, even went to the zoo and stayed in less expensive hotels we already knew we loved. It was the best part of getting married!

Do what makes you happy and you will never regret it.

[sgtiger]

We eloped during spring break twelve years ago. The local county courthouse was booked two months out. So we ended up in Oregon City, two days before Dh's birthday, being married by the judge that presided over Tonya Harding's indictment. It was all very funny in a cosmic sort of way for us. BIAK went to Oregon City H.S. and his hoodlum friends were tried by this judge. Tonya Harding went to my high school for a while with his ex. Anyhow, I wore a long spaghetti strap summer dress with a print on it and Dh wore slacks and button down shirt. I don't think he wore a tie, but I could be wrong. I forgot to ask the witnesses (court employees) to take our picture even though I had my camera with me. Nerves and excitement, I guess, so we don't even have a picture of our day. We spent our honeymoon in San Francisco visiting Golden Gate Park, the Exploratorium, and Ghirardelli Square. I have no regrets about not having a formal wedding. For us, it's always been about our marriage and helping each other thrive. Well... after those first few tempestuous years, anyway.

[Mr. SR500]

Congrats!

Can't help much, we had the big wedding, but had a blast!

Do exactly what you want: dress, place, size, everything, it's your day - your memories. Have a blast. I think it is worth sharing with a few close friends.

[silver]

Indy! You can't be talking about this until Silver and I have given our approval!

But, we had a HUGE wedding with all the pre-wedding family drama of the busy body aunts butting in. 30 minutes of music followed by a 10 minute procession, followed by an 8 minute ceremony, followed by a 3 hour exhausting reception.

Don't do it! Keep it small and simple...focus on the commitment and the celebration, not the event!

Put the money and planning into a biking honeymoon in Tuscany instead!

I completely agree with what my spouse said! Especially the biking honeymoon in Tuscany part!

[Crankin]

I think I was the only one who said she would have done the wedding differently! That sounds kind of negative, but really, I think is a reflection of the fact that at age 26, I was not strong enough to say "no" to my in laws and their demands to invite people who meant nothing to us. If there had been 50 people at the wedding, it would not have been a big deal, but with only 20, it was. I didn't want a "huge" wedding, but one that reflected us a little more.
On this topic, what do you all think of, or really does anyone here have experience with weddings where the groom's parents are in control, let's say for financial or other reasons?

[Biciclista]

No, Crankin, not so. A number of us implied that the COUPLE should not cave to other people's expectations, because it's their day.

I chose to remember and recount the parts of my wedding that I liked, but I too have regrets, and most of it is about letting other people's egos get involved with your wedding. That's the beauty of elopement.

[indysteel]

Thanks for everyone's input and well wishes. I think we'll figure it out; I was just sort of overwhelmed yesterday with options. Who knew not having a traditional wedding could be so complicated. I'm feeling better about it today.

Thankfully, we're totally comfortable with the idea of eloping. I don't think either of us has given serious consideration to having a traditonal wedding--big or small. I'm totally relieved that BF's family (he's close to his parents, unlike me) don't object to an elopement. Things would be sticky if they did. My parents long ago gave me the blessing to elope, which is surprising given some of their statements about my siblings' non-Catholic weddings. So, it really is just up to us, which is nice.

I'll keep you posted!

[Trek420]

I completely agree with what my spouse said! Especially the biking honeymoon in Tuscany part!

Tuscany? Tuscany?? Marry in San Francisco (or Carmel, or Monterey or ....) then take the biking honeymoon in the Sonoma County wine county.

It's every bit as beautiful. Our Sonoma and Mendocino coastline rivals the Amalfi coast.

Do it for you, do it for the US economy

[msincredible]

Thanks, Snap! That is helpful. It sounds pretty easy. I like the idea of San Francisco. Back when I was in law school, I took a trip there that included a drive down the coast to Carmel, a few days in the city and then another few days in wine country, with a hike in Muir Woods on the way there. It was a fantastic vacation. Brian's never been. Hmmmmmmmm.

Glad Snapdragen found the link for you, that's exactly how we did it, arranged online. Feel free to PM me with any questions.