Significant Other Personality

[teigyr]

My partner and I are polar opposites, except in our values and morals. We've been together almost 20 years and while it took us a long time to figure each other out, at this point in our lives we're quite comfortable together. Our differences now compliment our lives as opposed to interrupting it.

But I think values and morals (along with shared vision) are the most important things. Once you get past the "ohmygosh you like sushi? I LOOOOVE sushi, it must be fate!" stage of your life, you realize that all sorts of things change but who you are as a person, doesn't. The little stuff beyond that, as long as you can live with it, is great. Differences ensure life is never boring!

DH and I have the same core values, we place the same importance on our relationship, and we enjoy spending time together. While the little things (I can be oblivious about things not being in their right place and he is more of a lean manufacture/engineer type person) make life interesting, we balance each other and learn from each other. Like some others here, we do most everything together. He even went wedding gown shopping with me and helped me choose it...and I daresay that is a faux pas

Oddly enough, we've never been in a fight. We've had disagreements and there are times we feel the need to express our opinions (sometimes strongly), we can do that and then go on with greater understanding about each other.

[surgtech1956]

My partner and I have been together 13 years. We met at work. We made the committment after a year of dating. She is the artsy type, quiet type, muscially inclined. I am more outgoing, technically minded, not artsy. I would say we are more alike, we enjoy most ofthe same hobbies.

[TrekTheKaty]

And another thought--it's good to be opposites. Once I tried my hubby's laid back philosophy on a vacation. I usually over plan--what time we need to catch our flight, rental cars, hotels, things to do when we get there. And I get upset when things that I spent a lot of time on, don't work out. SO ONCE, I WINGED IT! Guess what happened? We landed, DH said "where's our hotel?" I didn't have one. Spent all day trying to find a hotel that wasn't sold out.

Now, he doesn't complain when I make plans. And when things don't go as planned, I've learned to chill and follow hubby as he wanders off.

[kenyonchris]

My SO have known each other for a few years. We are both in the same profession (both cops) which, I think for us, is really important. It is sort of one of those jobs that you can't understand unless you have been one. I would call us compatibly alike...which means we are very much alike, but not so much that we can't balance each other out. I was married very young (at 20!) to a guy who I was the polar opposite of, and it never, ever worked. We struggled through it for 13 miserable years. I met a man who had similar interests as I did, but our core way of doing things was so totally different that we wound up driving each other crazy. My SO and I cycle together sometimes, but he is crazy fast and I know he worries about me, so sometimes I ride with another friend or two and he does his thing. We can talk about it at the end.

[GLC1968]

My husband and I met when we were in our mid-30's. We met on Match.com, actually. Our first few phone conversations were 4+ hours. Our first date was at Busch Gardens. It was almost an instant thing for us and we attribute that to two things: 1) having already 'been there, done that' in terms of relationships, and 2) we truly are a perfect match.

For the most part, I'd say that we compliment each other, and yet we often share the same brain. We bought each other the same exact gift for our first valentine's day. We complete each others sentances and often communicate without speaking. We often get asked how long we've known each other and most people can't believe it's only been 7 years now (we've been married for 6 of them). And yet, there are sizable differences. I'm controlling, he's not. He's quick to anger, I have more patience. We are both engineers, so we are both analytical and practical. We have different views about raising children, but since we've chosen not to have any, it's not really an issue. We value the same things and share the same dreams...so it all works.

Until I met him, I didn't understand those people who had to call their significant others every chance they got. I didn't understand how one could want to spend that much time with any one person. I was fiercely independent, and I expected to always be that way. I am. But now I have someone with whom I want to share that independence. Weird? Maybe, but it works...for both of us.

[sfa]

My husband and I met when I was 19 and he had just turned 30. We both knew pretty quickly that what we had together was something more than just dating, but we were both hesitant to make any kind of committment, he because he was recently divorced and I because, well, I was 19 and self aware enough to realize I was WAY too young to be thinking about a long-term relationship. I've now spent more than half of my life with him.

I'm not sure how to describe our personalities. We are very, very, very different in many ways, but very similar in probably an equal number of ways. Does that make us complimentary? Similar values and often similar interests, but different personalities. I think that's the best way to describe it. We both like intellectual pursuits, but he goes with philosophy and techy stuff while I like history and art. We both need to work with our hands to stay sane, but he builds things and I grow things. We both love to argue about politics and will often take a side in the argument not because we agree with it but because it's fun to argue the point. Our sense of humor is nearly identical.

But he's far more laid back than I am, much less of a worrier, can't keep track of dates and times for anything, and doesn't mind living surrounded by chaos. He is inclined to service more than I am--he goes out of his way to help people and has a soft heart. I am a planner and like to know what is happening when. I don't like surprises. I am mentally completely on top of things and am better with "real world" stuff like paying bills and moving ahead professionally. He's the sort of person you want at your party. I'm the sort of person you want managing your party. I'm inclined more to committment and responsibility--if I say I'm going to do something I will always follow through and will not let other distractions get in my way.

Sarah