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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    3,853
    My partner and I are polar opposites, except in our values and morals. We've been together almost 20 years and while it took us a long time to figure each other out, at this point in our lives we're quite comfortable together. Our differences now compliment our lives as opposed to interrupting it.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Vancouver, BC
    Posts
    3,932
    Quote Originally Posted by Pax View Post
    My partner and I are polar opposites, except in our values and morals. We've been together almost 20 years and while it took us a long time to figure each other out, at this point in our lives we're quite comfortable together. Our differences now compliment our lives as opposed to interrupting it.
    Are you me?

    We're not at 20 years yet, still at the "figuring each other out" (about 4 years together). But regardless of that it works well. Fantastic, isn't it?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    somewhere between the Red & Rio Grande
    Posts
    5,297
    My husband and I are very different and very similar. We like the same things, at different intensities. He likes to camp in the cold, I like it mild. He likes to ride hard, I love to meander. He hates running, I love it for stress release. We disagree on some politics. We like the same music. I have a short fuse, he likes to keep it in and is more introverted. We are both relatively shy and have very dry senses of humor. We are both fiercely loyal and very close to our families. We are also both incredibly stubborn. I am a spender, he is frugal. I am a hopeless romantic, he procrastinates so he usually just gets a card but when he does something romantic he hits it out of the park. I am organized but not a neat organized, he is scatterbrained.

    I don't remember meeting him. We both bowled a lot, I was the cute girl he didn't want to really have anything to do with because of my temper and very competitive nature on the lanes. But eventually he wanted a date so he asked me out. I was 16, he was 17. We fought hard to make it through long distance (twice, once married!) and through the growing pains of college. We married when he had just turned 23, I was 22 and fresh out of college. He took two more years to finish up. We have been married almost six years and things change but we seem to ebb and flow together.
    Amanda

    2011 Specialized Epic Comp 29er | Specialized Phenom | "Marie Laveau"
    2007 Cannondale Synapse Carbon Road | Selle Italia Lady Gel Flow | "Miranda"


    You don't have to be great to get started, but you do have to get started to be great. -Lee J. Colan

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    714
    My DH and I are mostly opposites. We met in 1987 when we were both in our mid-thirties and we worked at the same place. He is very laid back, absent-minded, never worries, lives for the moment. I am very intense, a worrier always thinking ahead. We need each other to balance out the weirdness of the other. What do we have in common? We are both opinionated and bossy and when we both are cat lovers.

    In 22 years we have never, ever had a fight. It's quite amazing. Even if the intense part of me wants to fight, the laid back part of him won't allow it. So, we just talk through the problem. We are together all the time... we work out together, shop together and most of all ride together. He's truly my soul mate and I don't know what I would do without him.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    "I never made "Who's Who"- but sure as hell I made "What's That??..."

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Atlanta, GA
    Posts
    714
    Quote Originally Posted by tctrek View Post
    My DH and I are mostly opposites. We met in 1987 when we were both in our mid-thirties and we worked at the same place. He is very laid back, absent-minded, never worries, lives for the moment. I am very intense, a worrier always thinking ahead. We need each other to balance out the weirdness of the other. What do we have in common? We are both opinionated and bossy and when we both are cat lovers.

    In 22 years we have never, ever had a fight. It's quite amazing. Even if the intense part of me wants to fight, the laid back part of him won't allow it. So, we just talk through the problem. We are together all the time... we work out together, shop together and most of all ride together. He's truly my soul mate and I don't know what I would do without him.
    Ooops... forgot about the "commitment" part. We had both been through bad marriages and the "M" word was not in our vocabulary. We dated for a year, lived together for 12 years and have been married for 9 years! I think the commitment was always there, though. You don't need to be married to be committed.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    "I never made "Who's Who"- but sure as hell I made "What's That??..."

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Concord, MA
    Posts
    13,394
    My husband and i are complementary, mostly the same on everything. He has become more like me .
    We've been married for almost 30 years, so it works. We never fight; once in awhile I raise my voice, but I have a shorter fuse. We are both neat freaks, but he's a lot worse than me...
    Truthfully, I could be with my husband all of the time. I know it sounds sickening, but it's the way I feel. We do almost everything together, although we have our own separate and very different careers.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Md suburbs of Wash. DC
    Posts
    2,131
    Glancing quickly at the title, I thought this was a thread for schizophrenics...
    "How about if we all just try to follow these very simple rules of the road? Drive like the person ahead on the bike is your son/daughter. Ride like the cars are ambulances carrying your loved ones to the emergency room. This should cover everything, unless you are a complete sociopath."
    David Desautels, in a letter to velonews.com

    Random babblings and some stuff to look at.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    3,853
    Quote Originally Posted by Grog View Post
    Are you me?

    We're not at 20 years yet, still at the "figuring each other out" (about 4 years together). But regardless of that it works well. Fantastic, isn't it?
    It really is! My ex and I were very much alike and we ran out of things to talk about at the dinner table after a couple of years, my honey and I still manage to have stimulating conversations daily, even after all these years.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    894
    Quote Originally Posted by Kalidurga View Post
    Glancing quickly at the title, I thought this was a thread for schizophrenics...
    Hee-hee I'm still trying to figure out how this one ended up in 'open topic (cycling related)'...
    E.'s website: www.earchphoto.com

    2005 Bianchi 928C L'Una RC
    2010 BMC SLX01 racemaster
    2008 BMC TT03 Time Machine
    Campy Record and SSM Aspide naked carbon on all bikes

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    54
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years.. We met when I was 18 and he was 19, in class.. I introduced myself (which is really rare, I'm usually super shy) and we just started sitting together all the time, and then he finally asked me out about 3 months later.

    We're alike in a lot of ways, and very different in others. We have a lot of the same priorities in life, which I think is really important. We're both total goofballs at times, which keeps things fun. I'm a lot more short-tempered though, he's a lot more level-headed and patient. He keeps me grounded. He's a lot neater, and I'm a slob that spreads my stuff out everywhere. I'm a lot more athletic than he is, but he still jogs when he has time. I'm hoping he'll get more into cycling later! Right now things are kind of at a weird point, we're both still in university and still figuring out who we want to be.. But so far it's working out really well. We moved in together this past September, and it's been fabulous so far.

    It's great to see that there are some couples out there who met around the same age me and my boyfriend met! I like to think that this is the man I'll spend the rest of my life with, but sometimes it seems pretty unlikely.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Posts
    1,764
    Quote Originally Posted by Pax View Post
    My partner and I are polar opposites, except in our values and morals. We've been together almost 20 years and while it took us a long time to figure each other out, at this point in our lives we're quite comfortable together. Our differences now compliment our lives as opposed to interrupting it.
    But I think values and morals (along with shared vision) are the most important things. Once you get past the "ohmygosh you like sushi? I LOOOOVE sushi, it must be fate!" stage of your life, you realize that all sorts of things change but who you are as a person, doesn't. The little stuff beyond that, as long as you can live with it, is great. Differences ensure life is never boring!

    DH and I have the same core values, we place the same importance on our relationship, and we enjoy spending time together. While the little things (I can be oblivious about things not being in their right place and he is more of a lean manufacture/engineer type person) make life interesting, we balance each other and learn from each other. Like some others here, we do most everything together. He even went wedding gown shopping with me and helped me choose it...and I daresay that is a faux pas

    Oddly enough, we've never been in a fight. We've had disagreements and there are times we feel the need to express our opinions (sometimes strongly), we can do that and then go on with greater understanding about each other.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    1,054
    My partner and I have been together 13 years. We met at work. We made the committment after a year of dating. She is the artsy type, quiet type, muscially inclined. I am more outgoing, technically minded, not artsy. I would say we are more alike, we enjoy most ofthe same hobbies.
    2011 Specialized Secteur Elite Comp
    2006 Trek 7100

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    St. Louis, MO
    Posts
    1,058
    And another thought--it's good to be opposites. Once I tried my hubby's laid back philosophy on a vacation. I usually over plan--what time we need to catch our flight, rental cars, hotels, things to do when we get there. And I get upset when things that I spent a lot of time on, don't work out. SO ONCE, I WINGED IT! Guess what happened? We landed, DH said "where's our hotel?" I didn't have one. Spent all day trying to find a hotel that wasn't sold out.

    Now, he doesn't complain when I make plans. And when things don't go as planned, I've learned to chill and follow hubby as he wanders off.
    "Well-behaved women seldom make history." --Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

    '09 Trek WSD 2.1 with a Brooks B-68 saddle
    '11 Trek WSD Madone 5.2 with Brooks B-17

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    North Texas
    Posts
    561
    My SO have known each other for a few years. We are both in the same profession (both cops) which, I think for us, is really important. It is sort of one of those jobs that you can't understand unless you have been one. I would call us compatibly alike...which means we are very much alike, but not so much that we can't balance each other out. I was married very young (at 20!) to a guy who I was the polar opposite of, and it never, ever worked. We struggled through it for 13 miserable years. I met a man who had similar interests as I did, but our core way of doing things was so totally different that we wound up driving each other crazy. My SO and I cycle together sometimes, but he is crazy fast and I know he worries about me, so sometimes I ride with another friend or two and he does his thing. We can talk about it at the end.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Hillsboro, OR
    Posts
    5,023
    My husband and I met when we were in our mid-30's. We met on Match.com, actually. Our first few phone conversations were 4+ hours. Our first date was at Busch Gardens. It was almost an instant thing for us and we attribute that to two things: 1) having already 'been there, done that' in terms of relationships, and 2) we truly are a perfect match.

    For the most part, I'd say that we compliment each other, and yet we often share the same brain. We bought each other the same exact gift for our first valentine's day. We complete each others sentances and often communicate without speaking. We often get asked how long we've known each other and most people can't believe it's only been 7 years now (we've been married for 6 of them). And yet, there are sizable differences. I'm controlling, he's not. He's quick to anger, I have more patience. We are both engineers, so we are both analytical and practical. We have different views about raising children, but since we've chosen not to have any, it's not really an issue. We value the same things and share the same dreams...so it all works.

    Until I met him, I didn't understand those people who had to call their significant others every chance they got. I didn't understand how one could want to spend that much time with any one person. I was fiercely independent, and I expected to always be that way. I am. But now I have someone with whom I want to share that independence. Weird? Maybe, but it works...for both of us.
    My new non-farm blog: Finding Freedom

 

 

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