Dear So and So

[Lise]

Dear students making kissy-face in the bike lane,

I'm sure you've seen the signs in various places throughout campus declaring bike free zones. But perhaps you haven't really noticed that there are pretty much only two routes a bike can take through campus, and that they're clearly marked with little bikes painted on the pavement, not to mention the double-yellow lines. So due to the fact that I must stay on the bike path or risk a ticket for endangering the lives of pedestrians, would you please take your makeout session elsewhere? That goes triple for the young ladies walking four abreast across both directions of the bike lane. Do not look surprised when I continue to ride toward you. Do not look put out when I do not yield. Get. Out. Of. My. Bike lane.

Sincerely,
A cyclist and campus citizen

Oh, man. Nothing raises my near-homicidal ire like people f'ing around in the bike lane! I had a whole rant on TE once titled "Lexus in the Bike Lane". Get the F out of the bike lane! I've been reminded that pedestrians have the right of way, etc, but c'mon people. A sticker on my Larkspur reads, "I AM TRAFFIC". If people just wander into the path of cars, they're called "crazy people". OK, rant off!

[Blueberry]

Dear soon-to-be-married couple:

It's REALLY tacky to put on your wedding website (which is the only way one finds out the details from your emailed invite) that one should make sure to include a gift receipt if choosing to give you a present.

I'm also still scratching my head as to why you're getting married in my town - when you feel it necessary to say on said website that, for one's safety, one should not go outside after dark.

Signed,

A confused and annoyed wedding guest who will now be buying a much smaller present