Dear students making kissy-face in the bike lane,

I'm sure you've seen the signs in various places throughout campus declaring bike free zones. But perhaps you haven't really noticed that there are pretty much only two routes a bike can take through campus, and that they're clearly marked with little bikes painted on the pavement, not to mention the double-yellow lines. So due to the fact that I must stay on the bike path or risk a ticket for endangering the lives of pedestrians, would you please take your makeout session elsewhere? That goes triple for the young ladies walking four abreast across both directions of the bike lane. Do not look surprised when I continue to ride toward you. Do not look put out when I do not yield. Get. Out. Of. My. Bike lane.

Sincerely,
A cyclist and campus citizen