Quote Originally Posted by ZenSojourner View Post
I was shocked to discover one day that not a single female friend of mine had not at one point or another confessed to me at least one incident of sexual assault or rape.

NOT ONE.

Any woman I know long enough eventually has a story to tell. Whenever I get a fresh batch of friends, I just assume that sooner or later, they'll get around to telling me.
ZenSojourner, this has been my experience too.

My only quibble with the essay was calling it "not rape". I understand the literary device, but calling this "not-anything" reduces its impact.

What that essay made so clear was along the entire spectrum of violence by men against women and girls, from sexual assault and molestation to "clear-cut" violent gang rape, the victim is considered if not at fault, then at least in some way complicit: "she smoked pot, her grades weren't good, she was in the wrong part of town, she hung out with older boys, look at the way she dressed, the way she acted, the way she said no when she meant yes" etc. ad nauseum.

No - the real problem is that she was (we are) female in a world that objectifies women, sexualizes little girls, and glorifies male violence and domination.

The only way I can see that this can change is by demanding of the men and boys in our lives that they treat the women and girls in their lives as human beings with agency over their own lives and bodies. And in the meantime, because that kind of change (revolution?) takes time, as the essay's author says, we have to protect and support the women and girls in our lives.

SadieKate, thanks for posting this essay.