It was impossible to actually talk to my parents or to go to them with problems because of the overreaction or the consequences.
This is EXACTLY why I have access to my (last) son (at home)'s passwords. (My older sons are adults and I'm not entitled to their passwords anymore.) We've never over-reacted to problems or imposed unnatural consequences for things that happen, or things he's done. Thus, he trusts me to look out for his best interest and he gives them to me willingly; he's even relieved that he doesn't have to hide anything.

But then, we live an unusual life, wherein school is not a factor (education is!), and therefore we have never had a cause for an adversarial parent/teenager relationship. We believe that "teenage rebellion" is not a natural occurrence, but one that is formed and created through the separation of children from their parents when they first begin school at age 4, 5 or 6.

I know what you're thinking: Mama's boy. Shivering little weinie hiding behind his mother's apron. Nah. He is 15 and has his own car (still learning to drive), a job and his own money. He flies across the country alone to visit friends regularly. He can bicycle all over town, to the movies, etc., and he does. He is a regular at our gym during the day and all the old ladies love him.

I know what else you're thinking: A kid with no consequences=spoiled brat. Nah. Actions have their own consequences. I don't have to impose them. If he doesn't do his laundry, he has no clean clothes. If he leaves his bike out in the rain, rusty bike. If he doesn't call to tell me he won't be home by dinner, I might worry and be a little less willing to believe him when he says he'll be home next time.

We live in a mutual relationship, instead of an master/subject one. If there is nothing to rebel against, there's no rebellion. ::shrug::

Karen