Facebook-delisting, changing status

[Cataboo]

I've noticed that my sister & brother don't seem to be friends on facebook anymore- but I've not made any mention of it just in case whichever one of them got unfriended, doesn't know. I'm assuming it was my sister who did the unfriending.

I've also been watching an internet friend's facebook account most of the day - 17 hours ago he posted that he misses his grandmother. He's got 228 friends, lots of whom are in real life.

So I didn't want to say something about his grandmother just in case she wasn't dead and maybe he just hadn't seen her in a long time...

I waited a couple hours (well, not specifically for this purpose, but next time I logged in...)...and I noticed that noone had commented on his missing his grandmother, despite him typically having a busy page. So I asked 'oh, do you mean your grandmother who lives in australia?"

The answer was yes, she'd just died this morning...

So it's been 17 hours since he first posted, and still noone other than me has commmented on that.

I hope people are calling him in person and he's not upset that his 228 friends aren't more supportive.

[smurfalicious]

Wow that article was bitter and negative. How did that get past the editors? And really, coming unhinged because an ex found you on Facebook? Lord if she saw the retarded emails from my ex on myspace she'd be in a facility.

I dunno, people can't see your stuff unless you confirm them as a friend, and they can't find you unless they know your full name. I figure it takes the same sense as you'd have choosing real life interactions. Someone sketches you out, don't accept their request. Like this girl from my high school who I don't remember and has Sarah Palin and John McCain on her profile. Mmmm, delete.

I have Horsebook and Dogbook going now too. PJ needs some horsey friends. So do my dogs. Funny, my pet store coworkers don't have dogbook pages. Boo!

[lph]

yeah, I thought that article was pretty high-strung too. Just because Facebook calls them "friends" doesn't mean that everybody you connect to are close friends. You decide who you want to be in touch with and what to share, that should be pretty obvious. And the "vulture" in the story sounded to me just like one persons colleague finding a new good friend. Which can be a little painful if you're left out, but not necessarily a mean or boorish thing.

But Facebook does raise all sorts of funny issues. I used to have a really close friend 15-20 years ago. We grew apart about 10 years ago, and I don't really have any need to keep in touch. She was rather judgmental about the way I chose to live, and I doubt that that has changed. She asked to "friend" me a year ago, and I scarcely felt I could say no. I'm mildly curious about her life, and don't mind sharing a little of mine, but now she's started asking if we should "do" this or that together. Not quite sure about how outright I want to be in telling her that I don't want to...

For people you have a clearly defined relationship with, Facebook is great. It's more the general problem with the internet and communicating by writing, it's a whole nother ball game from face-to-face relationships.

[Mr. Bloom]

yeah, I thought that article was pretty high-strung too.

lph +1

Social networking like Facebook makes it easier than ever to behave like a boor. The number of people feeling used and bruised is rising as social transgressions become part of the norm online.
[/I]

And this is different from life in what way?

[Pax]

I had a Facebook account for about three weeks, I signed up to see the pictures that were taken during a scuba expo I attended. Very quickly I had old acquaintances popping out of the woodwork asking to "friend" me, many of them wanting to get together or see if I'm attending our high school reunion, I just wanted to look at the pictures and had no idea it would make things like my personal email available to strangers.

I learned I could change my security settings but it was too little too late, I deactivated the account and am changing my email account.

[Cataboo]

One thing people should do is never use their real email addresses (other than for friends & family). Create a gmail account or 4, and set it to auto-forward anything sent to that account to your real email account.

If you need to start a facebook account, buy something, or whatever - give them the gmail account address.

When you start getting spam or something to that gmail account or annoying people, you can then delete that gmail account or cancel the autoforwarding so you don't have to deal with it.

If you pay the $20 a year or whatever for a pay yahoo email account, they then give you 2 email address, and a bunch of throw away email address - I can generate an unlimited # of email addresses that go to my yahoo account, that I can email out with, and that I can delete when they get too much spam.

Yes, it's complicated - but my "real" yahoo email account I've been using for over 10 years now. It would be a huge pain in my neck to have to change that email address or get the information off of it.

[ny biker]

Lance has a son and two daughters, not 3 boys, and I'm pretty sure his house is off the beaten path, so it' probably not within walking or riding distance of their school(s). Not to mention, he can't ride his bike right now. Anyway.

Most of the people on my facebook friends list are adults over 30. However I have 3 teenagers - my 17-year-old nephew, my cousin's 16 year old girl, and my other cousin's son who I think is 14. I wasn't sure about inviting the cousins' kids to be friends, because I figured they probably wouldn't be interested in having a grownup like me reading their stuff, but one of their mother's asked me about it so I friended them. So far it's been interesting. The 16-year-old girl uses lots of texting abbreviations, so I don't understand most of what she's saying. The 14-year-old mostly posts "Bored please text me."

[ASammy1]

I've been on FB for a while now too and although I've never had a problem with it, I did have problems on myspace.

My now ex-husband had a page dedicated to St. Andrea and had posted pictures of his friends wearing my wedding dress. At this point I was already living in another state. Some of his friends have tried to "friend" me on FB... Friends who I know don't like me, so I've "ignored" them. I've also blocked my ex husband and his baby mama (my ex-best friend) from seeing anything about me.

[Irulan]

. I wasn't sure about inviting the cousins' kids to be friends, because I figured they probably wouldn't be interested in having a grownup like me reading their stuff, but one of their mother's asked me about it so I friended them.

My sons ( in college) have let me know that there is actually a facebook group for kids who are creeped out by their parents' friends "friending" them ( or attempting to, I guess) They told me not to do it in no uncertain terms

[Cataboo]

I know my little brother is creeped out by having the rest of his siblings friending him. I told him how to put us in a separate family group & limit what we see.

I'm definitely not a teenager, but if my Mom was on facebook, I certainly don't want her to friend me.


She saw me instant message my little brother at 2 am last night, and promptly called me to demand that I go to sleep and give me heck for my eratic sleeping schedule.

[ny biker]

I know my little brother is creeped out by having the rest of his siblings friending him. I told him how to put us in a separate family group & limit what we see.

I'm definitely not a teenager, but if my Mom was on facebook, I certainly don't want her to friend me.


She saw me instant message my little brother at 2 am last night, and promptly called me to demand that I go to sleep and give me heck for my eratic sleeping schedule.

My boss and her boss are both on my friends list, so I can't do much with FB during work hours, except at lunchtime.

I figure the teenagers can always unfriend me later if they want, and I won't be offended. Mostly I think this is an easy way to share photos with them from holidays and stuff.

I wouldn't friend the children of people who aren't related to me.

[Possegal]

Oh my Andrea, what a horror story!

I am "friends" with my cousins kids on FB, but they are in their early 20s and so it isn't that big of a deal. My nieces and nephews are also on my FB list. Two are still in middle and HS and those two, I don't get as much info on. I don't want to know as much about them. The others are closer in age to me than their parents/my siblings. So they have been friends of mine long before FB. My sister though, the mother of the HS age daughter, has not "friended" any of her daughters friends, but several of them have sent her requests. I think she does the same thing, just sets it to not get that much info from them.

I keep up-to-date with folks this way, and can share photos and videos much easier. My sister called me the other night - did you know "Nephew" had moved to Chicago?? Me - yes, Her - How did you know?, Me -Facebook. Then two more family things, two more times I did know and knew through FB. So, all and all, I like it and am glad I joined.

[Kalidurga]

Second one, with my Kelownagurl name...

I have tried very hard not to link my real name with my Kelownagurl name.

I'm also on Facebook with my internet screen name (Kali Durga, instead of Kalidurga as it is here) instead of my actual name. The people who have become real friends know my real name, while my internet "friends" know only my on-line pseudonym. That's worked nicely for me so far.

[maillotpois]

My now 13 year old unfriended me on FB for a bit before I noticed. Not ok. I told her if she wanted an account, I have to be one of her friends, period.

[ny biker]

By coincidence, we have this from Ruth Marcus on washingtonpost.com today:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...d=opinionsbox1