Quote Originally Posted by Zen View Post
Is this a celebration of two peoples commitment to one another or a celebration of gifts?

You stated that they are both in their forties and have been together for a while. They really don't need anything.
Which means they really should not be having a shower.

But a baby or wedding shower are supposed to be the only two events for which a gift is required. Everything else (weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, etc.) are considered gift-optional, even though most people don't see them that way. Just like the proper thing is to send the wedding gift to the home within a year of the event, but most people bring the gift to the wedding itself, so the couple needs to deal with a pile of boxes on their way to the honeymoon.

At least that's what Miss Manners says.

Anyway. Just because you're supposed to bring a gift, that doesn't mean it has to be a big expensive blowout.