Grad School Gloom???

[Cataboo]

How long is your program? A 2 year or a 4-6 year type program?

The first semester can be tough with the course work, and graduate programs tend to be an adjustment in your method of thinking - if you've been able to get by with just memorizing stuff previously, grad school can be a bit of a shock.

I agree with everyone's suggestions of consulting other professors and the rest of that... and I think what got me through grad school was having a professor that I worked really well with & a project that I truly enjoyed, was passionate about, and LOVED. I'm currently doing a post-doc that's meh... and I hate it and pretty much want to do any other career than this now. But I just need to find a lab that's a better fit, or get a better attitude.

But if you're truly not sure that this is what you want to do... Leaving after the first semester is really not a terrible thing. You tried it, it wasn't for you, and you didn't waste any more time or resources on it. I knew people that 4th year into grad school decided that they'd made a terrible mistake and this wasn't what they wanted to do with their life at all... They pretty much restructured and went into science policy or lobbying - but it really wasn't something they needed a phD for.

[Crankin]

Just a thought, about possible careers. My husband is in charge of over 200 engineers who are "application" engineers. That is, they actually work with customers who are thinking about buying the company's software. They come from all areas of engineering; they have to be technically competent, but having good social skills is a very important part of this job. You don't need a grad degree to get the job, but most of them have one; many have Phds. It is actually very hard for my husband to find people qualified for this job. They either don't have the people/presentation skills or there's some personality issues that make them better candidates for being developers. For example, the people with mechanical engineering degrees work with customers who need the software for that kind of product, such as the auto or aerospace industry.
I second the suggestion about going to the counseling center. It's free. You can make the time for 50 minutes, once a week.
I am in grad school, too. This is my second master's so I have a totally different attitude. I need the degree to do the job I want and I am not working, which makes a huge difference. Last time, I went pt at night and in the summer to get my MA in Ed. I was lazy and took my time, to reduce the stress. Then, I was in a PhD program for a year, but I just couldn't do it. I totally understand what you are going through. My choice to quit at that time was absolutely the right one for me; I focused on my job and having a family. But, it sounds like you just need some guidance as to possibilities for the future.

[tribogota]

I don't have much advice, but lots of commiseration. I tried to drop out every single semester during the first 3 and half years of grad school, then during the dissertation, well, got that far, might as well finish. But 10 years later it has paid off, now I can do triathlon training fairly intensely cause I can organize my own class hours and student hours and research hours, unlike most of the working world, and THAT COUNTS for an athlete. While training for my first tri I kept telling myself that if I could write a dissertation, I could certainly do this, and during the "book" stage, I kept telling myself that if I could do a triathlon, well I could finish the book.

[woohoo]

Hey there, you've had lots of good advice from the others here, but I just wanted to chip in to reassure you that there is light at the end of the grad school tunnel. I'm a mechanical engineer too, and had a pretty up and down time in grad school - I think most people do. If you like your prof that's a great start, as it's often possible for them to help you refocus a project on things you're interested in. For what it's worth I now work as a rehabilitation engineer (totally different subject to my PhD) and think it's brilliant - so there are fun jobs out there, and it's well worth persevering at grad school to get there! Best of luck, Lynne.

[NbyNW]

One thing to consider is that while you might know what you want to do, you might not be in the best place to achieve that.

I changed schools twice on the way to my graduate degree -- was miserable at my first school (but I learned a lot, so it wasn't a complete waste), then followed DH for geographical reasons to a school that could only offer me a second bachelor's degree, then moved again for DH's career to Seattle, where the department was a MUCH better fit for me.

A few people along the way tried to convince me that I might consider changing directions. The were only partially right.

Be true to yourself, and surround yourself with a strong support network!

[polly4711]

Thank you for the overwhelming support!!! This is why I love TE!!!

This last week has been quite the contrast of the previous week. I was able to focus more of my time on the research and was reminded of the hard work is worth it. My professor and I were joking around and he made the comment that I am not going to take any more of the thermal sciences (the classes that kill me)! which is fantastic. He is going to try to petition my degree plan so that I can take classes that are more relevant to my interests!

Thank you all for everything! I will remember your words of advice during my next slump (I'm sure that it will come around sometime)