Grad School Gloom???

[polly4711]

Thank you all for your support.... I've talked with multiple professors about their experience with grad school.... and several of them had a tough time. It's a different kind of thinking, and I guess I just need to learn how to do it.

I used to go to counceling, and I would love to again, but I really jsut dont have enough time. I think that is one of my problems is just not enough time to breathe!!! I have ended up being over involved, but hopefully some of it will go away soon. I also think that in addition I am unhappy because I'm not quite sure what I want to do with my life. Rather than going out to the real world (I can't even tell you where I would even begin to apply) I have decided to go to graduate school. I love doing research, and the curiosity... I think that I just need to wait until some (especailly one) of my classes are finished.

Another problem is that I've rarely had a strong passion for something.... the first that really came along in my life was cycling. It's the best feeling ever (as long as I'm not a chicken about exploring new places). I love making people happy, not in the people pleaser way, but in the helpful way. (Does that make sense?) I think that I just need to get through this and time will tell. It has usually been pretty nice to me of leading me the right way.

Any other pieces of smarts or your experience with struggling to find your career?

Thank you all for your love!!!!!

[Miranda]

Yea... it can be tough times in many ways. But, an accomplishment you will keep for life. I was getting my MBA pt, working ft many hours, and prego with DD at graduation. Some nights it was all I could do to find the energy to cry myself to sleep. Somehow though, I survived.

If you mean counseling for you, my campus offered that service for free for students. I used it myself. They were shrinks studying to be. But bound by same confidentiality and cases overseen by real shrink/teacher. Even if you couldn't go every week--a little bit might help. Perhaps you could talk the shrink into riding a tandem and talk at same time? Multi-task! lol, just kiddin ya... hope THAT at least made you chuckle. I'd be game for it.

OK... on the "is this what I want to REALLY do with my life???"... Well, one suggestion is to spend some time with a professional that has a job leading from your degree. Maybe there is something else that might come up as a tangent?

In regards to your comment about: "I want to help people, but not in a people-pleasing way"... it makes sense to me. My background is in healthcare. One of my last jobs was at a medical lab. RNs like to help people by first hand pa care. Med techs like to 'help people' behind the scenes... when you ask them why they chose to be a med tech, many will say "because I didn't want to have to talk to the patient face to face!". Different sets of 'people helping mindset & skills'. The pathologists help people/mankind... but their patients are dead (no talking back).

Does the depatment have an alumni group? Maybe you could track those peeps down too?

Good Luck

[tulip]

By the time I got to grad school I knew what I wanted to do, but it took me a while (5 years) in between undergrad and grad to figure that out. In college I had no idea, so I guess you could say it took me 10 years (5 of college and 5 of working before grad school) to figure it out.

In many ways, I wish I'd gone really with what I had a passion about, namely vegetable gardens and bicycling. I did get a masters in landscape architecture and another in city planning, but my thesi were not focused on these two passions. They could have been, easily, in my field, but I chose what I though were more acceptable and mainstream topics.

There's the old classic, What Color Is Your Parachute, that is really good. I also found the Myers-Briggs helpful in figuring out how I best work (not what to do, but how to work within my natural way).

I totally understand how you feel overwhelmed. Even now, I have to say no to projects and activities because otherwise I just drown in them! You CAN say no to activities. In fact, it's probably a good idea to say no because then you can do whatever you do better, as opposed to spreading yourself too thin and not doing anything well.

Don't forget to take care of yourself. You can't take care of business if you don't take care of yourself.

[firenze11]

I think that is one of my problems is just not enough time to breathe!!! I have ended up being over involved, but hopefully some of it will go away soon. I also think that in addition I am unhappy because I'm not quite sure what I want to do with my life. Rather than going out to the real world (I can't even tell you where I would even begin to apply) I have decided to go to graduate school. I love doing research, and the curiosity... I think that I just need to wait until some (especailly one) of my classes are finished.

Wow, I feel like I could have written most of your post, especially this part. I'm going through the grad school gloom, too. I think a major part of it stems from losing basically all of my personal time and work/life balance to school. I'm a perfectionist (but who isn't, right?) and it's really really hard for me to accept that I can't do everything perfectly the first time all the time so I work, work, work, work work and lose perspective that there's more to life than grades.

I also am unsure about what I want to do when I graduate. I'm doing history, so I get the question all the time. . ."what are you going to do with a history degree" and I think it's worn me down. And after this year, I need to get out of history for awhile. I also love research and have that driving curiosity so I thought grad school was ideal for me.

Anyway, I guess I'm not very helpful with advice, but know that you're not the only one going through it right now. My roommate is also in engineering and she's been asking herself why she decided to put herself through grad school, too. I'm personally trying let go a little bit and try not to put so much pressure on myself. I know I will be so proud of myself once I get my degree.

Good luck with everything!