Dear Son's (maybe-ex-) Girlfriend:

Really? The only reason is that you "want to be single"? REALLY? After 5 years? Why'd you take so long? Please don't drag it out. Move out now. Take the giant dog that you insisted on adopting, and the three cats, too. Take your crap and go. You were so right for him, but now you're not, so go. Don't drag it out, PLEASE.

Dear Son: I love you, and it will get better. Thanks for being my boy. I'm here if you need me.

Love,
Mom