Things that irk...

[Crankin]

I also wish I had not changed my last name. This was the only thing we fought about before the wedding. My husband felt really strongly about it, so I changed it. Of course, a couple of years later, after rethinking many of his "ideas," he told me he really didn't think it was a big deal and I could change it back. I didn't want to go through the trouble. I also use my birth name as my middle name, which is extremely common around here. I don't use a hyphen, but on anything official, I sign both last names. Both of my boys have my last name as their middle name. They hated it until we moved to an area when at least 50% of the kids had hyphenated last names or at least their mom's name as a middle name. Now, my older son will sign his full name on documents, while #2 uses an initial or nothing. In fact, he still doesn't spell my name (his middle name) correctly half the time. He just feels it's too long to write.
I'd say at least half of the women around where I live keep their own name, and probably closer to 80% of the younger women.

[7rider]

I kept my own name, and my family - on the rare occasions when they send me anything - addresses me by a "married" name - i.e., Mrs. HusbandsName. My brother has me that way in his email address book.
I just shrug it off. I've got bigger issues to worry about.
We often said, growing up, "You can call me anything you like. Just don't call me late for dinner!"

[Bluetree]

Some friends of mine combined their last names. One was named "Kirk" and the other was "Lin"

They are now Mr. and Mrs. Kirklin!

[Selkie]

Mail addressed to me as Mrs. Husband's name.

My MIL does this all the time - even though I've told her my first name is NOT Thom. I understand that for her generation that was the proper way to address a letter to a married woman. But I don't like it. I don't derive my self worth from the fact that I'm married.

You'd think after 22 years, I could just let it go...

Veronica

Don't feel bad - I feel the same way, after 20 years of experiencing something similar. I kept my maiden name. Some members of my DH's immediate family -- including his 23 year old NIECE -- insist on calling me Mrs. Brian XXXXXX or Suzanne XXXXXXX. It's annoying.

[jobob]

The funniest one I've seen is an invitation to
Mr. MyHusbandFirstName HisLastName & Mrs. MyFirstName MyLastName

as if I was married to someone else.

I got that too - at my niece's wedding. My brother's daughter so my last name is the same as theirs.

Yet, the invitation came addressed as Mrs. MyLastName (in my sister-in-law's handwriting, no less), plus, since I did a reading during the ceremony, it was printed up that way in the program.

[Veronica]

They actually printed it as Mrs. LeeBob. Cool!!!!

[jobob]

Nope, Mrs. Jobob.

[Blueberry]

I caused quite a stir in my first law firm - they wanted to put an announcement in the paper (so and so has joined the firm). One of the paralegals was adamant that mine should me "Mrs. MyFirstName DH's Last Name." I wanted "Ms. MyFirstName DH's Last Name." She actually argued it wasn't correct to say Ms. Uh - yeah. I said my marital status had no business in a professional announcement.

And yep - I did take my DH's last name. Didn't see any reason to keep my dad's name - he was out of the picture for most of my childhood.

CA

[Selkie]

.

And yep - I did take my DH's last name. Didn't see any reason to keep my dad's name - he was out of the picture for most of my childhood.

CA

CA -- No offense intended but I always thought of my maiden name as "my" last name, not my dad's. My parents, surprisingly enough given that they were born in the 1920s and had very old-fashioned values, drilled in me and my sister the need to be independent in all ways. My sister also kept her maiden name. In addition, my parents really stressed the family history--my dad was a first-generation Irish/American, and the family was large, traditionally Irish (in ways good and bad) and very proud of our Irish heritage. There was a lot of identity put in the name and passed on to kids.

That's where I'm coming from---it's truly just a different view and I'm not being critical or judgmental of your perspective on it.

[sgtiger]

The only mail that I get addressed as Mrs. Hisname is junk mail or invitations to formal functions in which the sender doesn't know my name. I've kept my last name at the insistence of BIAK. He didn't see any reason for me to take his last name. Sometimes not having his last name has caused some inconveniences, so there was a point that I was going to take his last name but he argued that if I did that then he would just take mine. He's impossible that way. I do use his last name for any military paperwork, because their system has a hard time dealing with spouses whose last names don't match. I have no problems being addresses as Mrs. Hislastname at formal functions, and neither does he when he's addressed as Mr. Mylastname.

[gnat23]

Hah! My mom kept her maiden name, and whenever she'd get a call asking for Mr. HerName, she'd get very quiet and say "I'm sorry, he died..."

All the while trying not to bust out laughing.

-- gnat!

[OakLeaf]

I don't actually care. Business we deal with at home sometimes call me by DH's last name. Other businesses call him by my name. His parents address cards to "Mr. & Mrs. Hisname." It doesn't bother me either way and it doesn't bother him to be called "Mr. Myname" - he'll even refer to himself that way if it helps him communicate with the cable company or whatever, if the account's in my name.

I definitely feel like my last name ties me to my father, which wouldn't necessarily be my choice, but it's the name I grew up with and it's the name I know myself by.

[Blueberry]

CA -- No offense intended but I always thought of my maiden name as "my" last name, not my dad's. My parents, surprisingly enough given that they were born in the 1920s and had very old-fashioned values, drilled in me and my sister the need to be independent in all ways. My sister also kept her maiden name. In addition, my parents really stressed the family history--my dad was a first-generation Irish/American, and the family was large, traditionally Irish (in ways good and bad) and very proud of our Irish heritage. There was a lot of identity put in the name and passed on to kids.

That's where I'm coming from---it's truly just a different view and I'm not being critical or judgmental of your perspective on it.

No offense taken! It's interesting how we all have different perspectives. I think mine was skewed by the fact that I "grew up" with my grandparents (mom's side) and my mom re-married when I was in middle school and took her new H's last name. So - I was the only one in my family with that name. Guess that's why it felt that way? But I agree - most people do think of their "maiden" name as their last name. I think I'm the odd ball Not for the first time

[Selkie]

Hah! My mom kept her maiden name, and whenever she'd get a call asking for Mr. HerName, she'd get very quiet and say "I'm sorry, he died..."

All the while trying not to bust out laughing.

-- gnat!

That's great! I'll have to remember that.

My husband has gotten mail addressed to Mr.his first name my last name. So I guess turn about's fair play!