on being a mom

[Biciclista]

I think one advantage parents have over childless people is that we have all been childless at one point, but the currently childless have never been parents. Thus, I would give more credence to the parent's arguments for or against, than the childless.

Karen

I can't agree with that either. I have some very wise friends who have never had children. Because they didn't have kids doesn't mean that their decisions aren't good.

The bottom line is what you want. You can get all our opinions all day long, but
pretend to decide. Ok, kids it is. How do you feel?
or Okay, no kids. how does THAT feel?
If you decide to have kids, know it's not going to be easy, but what in life really is? For most of us, the benefits outweigh the difficulties, although when you have a sick 2 year old and a hungry infant and your husband just got home wondering where dinner is, sometimes, it just doesn't seem like it!
it will make you stronger.

[Blueberry]

To clarify-

I didn't mean to imply that anyone on TE decided to have or not have kids based on elder care. I agree, many cultures have it ingrained in them to care for the elderly. And in a loving family, I think it's what happens, and what should happen. I certainly don't have a problem with it. I'm actually the person who generally takes care of my grandmother (taking her to the doctor, etc) because her own kids are too busy and "she can take transportation from her retirement home" (which frequently makes her wait 2+ hours on either side of an appointment).

In many states, there is actually a law on the books requiring that children financially support indigent parents. They aren't often enforced now, but they're there, and there's somewhat of a push to enforce them more.

However, I've had people suggest to me that I should have a child exclusively for that reason (as a retirement policy). That's what I really object to. I think when people choose to have children for that reason, the child generally figures it out. Not good for the child or the parent.

Elder care is really a tough issue, and perhaps a topic not appropriate here. Just wanted to clarify that I wasn't suggesting kids shouldn't take care of their parents

[Tuckervill]

I can't agree with that either. I have some very wise friends who have never had children. Because they didn't have kids doesn't mean that their decisions aren't good.

I was talking about their decisions about parenting, not any decision. Specifically, their choices to believe what they do about the nature of children and parenting them.

Karen

[Irulan]

I was talking about their decisions about parenting, not any decision. Specifically, their choices to believe what they do about the nature of children and parenting them.

Karen

oh, you mean, like "when I have kids,MY children will never act like that...!"
(as your child is laying face down in safeway screaming because you said "no")

bwahahaha... right.