This is similar to what I've been going through for several years. I was the child of an "oops", and raised by my grandparents. They ended up adopting me. They were wonderful, but not without issues.

But overall, family hasn't been a strong suit in my life. I always loved the idea of a big family coming home on holidays, etc.. you know, the belief in the "typical American Family". But the realities that I see made that picture less believable.

At any rate, I married at 29 yrs, back to school at 28 for 4 years, new time-consuming and energy-consuming career by 32, and big student loan bills (I'm still paying them )

We kept saying we weren't ready for kids, we could have them later. I kept thinking that the desire would hit me some day. DH teaches high school. He "has 120 kids of his own" every day. He has always said if I think I want a child, say the word, but he doesn't really have the desire enough to ask me to have them.

So I think we were both waiting for the other to feel the need. So far, it hasn't happened. We are 42 and 43 now. Sure, we still could have them, but my gosh -- we'd be old when they were teenagers! And neither of us have any desire, still.

So we've come to terms with that decision, and have full lives and good friends. We have his family (my parents have both passed away), and that is enough. Many of our friends with children are hitting their empty nests as their kids are heading off to college.

Will I be sorry when I'm 50 or 60... who knows. Maybe. But for now, I am happy with the decision (or in this case -- lack of making a decision for so long )

Follow your heart in whatever you feel. It will be the right decision for YOU.