Reunions?

[ny biker]

This is a really interesting thread.

I honestly don't care if someone I went to high school or college with looks down on me because I'm not as "successful" as they are. I went to a big, well-known college that has churned out its share of movers and shakers. But so what - they all still put their pants on one leg at a time.

I made a conscious decision about ten years ago to become downwardly mobile. I had enjoyed my career for a while, but over time became dissatisfied with it. So I decided to just do what made me happy even if it meant less income, working in a cube instead of a private office, and a less impressive title on my business card. I'm good at what I do, my clients appreciate my work, and I'm happy. Anyone who looks down on that can kiss my butt.

Same with family. I'm sure some people who look happy in photos with their spouse and kids really are happy, but there's no way their life is perfect bliss because no one gets that. And plenty of those people are probably not happy at all.

[Pax]

I just chatted with my mom about this thread, she says she thinks I'm a "once you leave, you never look back" kind of person because of growing up military we moved constantly...and you never went back, never saw those best friends again.

[lph]

I think the various experiences in this thread have in fact summed it up nicely - the people you feel were and still are your friends are people you've stayed in touch with anyway, and would see regardless. Minus perhaps a happy handful that you are friendly with, but only see at reunions. The rest of them are just a bunch of people you happened to share a school year or two or ten with. You could be lucky and rediscover them as friends now, but chances are the things you end up talking and thinking about at a reunion, apart from school memories, are just the outer symbols of success or failure, jobs, wages, where they live, family. Whether they look fit or not. What they're wearing. Making friends takes longer and runs deeper.

I liked indysteels point about re-connecting to a person you no longer are, too.

[Mr. Bloom]

Indy, FWIW, Silver and I think the world of you where you are because it's clear to us that you are indeed happy with where you are

Also, FWIW, I too went to small Catholic schools and have similar emotions. (Although it's interesting that at Silver's 10 year reunion, it was funny when she leaned over and said that she had more fun at mine)

I don't know about your schools, but at mine, the nuns applauded superficially pious behavior, careers in the arts/sciences/medicine (as opposed to business/law), and were wholly uninspiring to me. Even though I've been successful, I don't fit their ideal of success (although they're persistent in hitting me up for money that will NEVER be offered!)

I didn't go to the 20 year reunion (we were in Venice) and expect that I won't go to 30...maybe by 40, I'll be mellow enough to enjoy it...

[wildhawk]

Good thread. I have not attended any of my class reunions (Class of 1974 - whoo hoo!). But that is mainly because the group that organizes and attends these events are the “in-crowd” clique that basically snubbed me in high school. I did not socialize with them then and I can see no reason to now. The friends I had in high school and college that I cared about I have kept in touch with - we are very close. I do feel a pang of curiousity about the others when reunions roll around, but not enough to make me put my life on hold and use vacation time to hear them brag about their lives - some people in my past need to stay there - in the past. Just my two cents worth…

[indysteel]

Indy, FWIW, Silver and I think the world of you where you are because it's clear to us that you are indeed happy with where you are

Also, FWIW, I too went to small Catholic schools and have similar emotions. (Although it's interesting that at Silver's 10 year reunion, it was funny when she leaned over and said that she had more fun at mine)

I don't know about your schools, but at mine, the nuns applauded superficially pious behavior, careers in the arts/sciences/medicine (as opposed to business/law), and were wholly uninspiring to me. Even though I've been successful, I don't fit their ideal of success (although they're persistent in hitting me up for money that will NEVER be offered!)

I didn't go to the 20 year reunion (we were in Venice) and expect that I won't go to 30...maybe by 40, I'll be mellow enough to enjoy it...

What a wonderful compliment. Thank you! I think the world of you guys, too!

And, boy would I rather go to Venice than a reunion!

[uforgot]

Guess I'm in the minority, but I haven't missed a reunion yet. I've enjoyed every one. Our class president is still the funniest guy I know and has missed his calling as a stand up comedian. The opening speech alone is worth the trip. It's the only time I keep up with my classmates as I've moved away, but it's fun to meet and talk to the interesting people they have become.

[Mr. Bloom]

Guess I'm in the minority, but I haven't missed a reunion yet.

That's wonderful!

I think that for me, High School represents an awkward time. I was popular, but not cool; bright, but not self confident. I found my groove in college and never identified with that more awkward time period...