Another thing I just thought of - my guy is not a dude's dude - he'd rather be alone than with other guys, and doesn't go out and do stuff like fishing or ball games with other guys.
What he DOES need is time alone. He needs space. He needs to go out to his workshop sometimes and not have me in his space.
That's hard for me cuz I love being around him all the time and rarely spend time by myself. When I do, I usually enjoy it, but I'd much rather be with him.
But sometimes it's good to not overplan for weekends, to not have these huge expectations of someone to be there for us 24/7. To let the guy (or gal) be. If that means letting go of an argument, or of not going to a party together, or whatever, it's worth it.
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11-14-2008, 10:11 AM #1
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I can do five more miles.
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11-14-2008, 11:38 AM #2
Of sky 'n earth
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Yea, indigois, my partner is not quite like that. Though he does cycle with other guys, it is with 1-2 other guys and not often...only a couple times per year. Or on a multi-day touring trip...which seems to happen once a year.Another thing I just thought of - my guy is not a dude's dude - he'd rather be alone than with other guys, and doesn't go out and do stuff like fishing or ball games with other guys
Or it's a more utiltarian ride related to his cycling advocacy work or his cycling facility planning biz. This is often.
Before he married and had kids, he did do more group stuff with guys, but last few decades he seems to be happy slinging it out on his own.
As for just meeting another guy just to talk...it seems to have a particular purpose/focus ...but not always. I have never sensed from him, a powerful need to do stuff /be action-oriented with his brother. or with adult son..it's straight long chats for several hrs. ..over phone, coffee or a meal. I'm glad...he doesn't see/hear from them that frequently.
So he doesn't aim to be the silent/ just action-oriented type of guy.
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Just an observation on long-distance relationships....I'm so glad that I was already with my partner 6 years before he had to relocate due to job and we had a long-distance relationship for over 2 yrs. before being together under 1 roof.
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