Christmas Drama

[shootingstar]

Your mom probably does genuinely wants all her brood together for Christmas. It's normal..for alot of parents. However you won't be able to resolve stuff in 1 visit with her.

Instead of mother spending money on your plane ticket, tell her to save some of it for a birthday gift for you next year.

Sounds like if you visited each of your brothers individually, things aren't too bad without your mother around to make comparisons? Which is what you might choose to do next visit. Have meaningful visits with each family member separately first.

I miss having Christmas with my immediate family and 5 siblings with their families. No, my family is not perfect either. I have learned that when one lives a plane flight away (3 hrs. long), it can /will take several years to resolve the underlying bigger stuff. Alot of it just can't be done by phone. Since it is costly to fly, I see them once a year or less. But now I haven't seen them for 18 months.

Sounds like your gift ideas are quite good. No need to apologize for being underbudget. You need to do gift-giving within your budget. You also are creative with your photography. Could always add something that you produced.

[snapdragen]

Gifts to "them" rather than separately are perfectly acceptable. You could take it a step further and make a donation in their names to their local food bank or some other charity. I started doing this last year, it works out wonderfully.

[planetluvver]

I sympathize with you. My advice is to do whatever you want to do. It is crazy to try to please family members who won't be pleased with us anyway. Besides, do they really need to know that you bought yourself a bike?

I heard some great advice one time about getting into debt for the holidays, but I wish I could credit the source. He said that we need to think whether the person we are gifting would WANT us to buy something that we couldn't afford. And if they would still want the present, knowing that it will cause us hardship, then is this person really someone who cares about us?

DISCLAIMER: I am such a humbug at Christmas. I go shopping on Christmas Eve for little indulgences for myself, and I inwardly am smug at all the stressed out, grumpy people needing that last little 'thing' to get the holiday right. I just want to tell them, "Go home! Put your feet up! And RELAX! It's supposed to be a HOLIDAY!"