Roadside memorials-better driving

[Tuckervill]

With utmost sympathy to the people who have had tragic circumstances that lead them to place roadside memorials, I think they eventually become litter, and I think at that time it is time to let it go.

Karen

[badgercat]

I think memorials can be a wonderful part of the grieving/healing process, but I wonder sometimes, if they ever have the opposite effect of people slowing down and trying to figure out who/what the memorial is for (if there's a name on it, for example), and then paying less attention to the road.

Just a tangent... a few weeks ago, my BF and I saw folks gathered on a corner on the opposite side of the road, constructing a memorial on the route my boyfriend bikes between his apartment and campus almost every day... it wasn't until a few days later when I was heading in the other direction that I saw that the memorial was for a cyclist... and this road is the route my BF bikes between his apartment and campus most days of the week. It really gave me pause.

[Tuckervill]

There's one on the highway between the town where I live and the town were dh works. It is to remember a disabled man who was shot and killed by state troopers in a case of mistaken identity. The man couldn't respond in the way the the troopers expected, and he was known to walk many miles and come home at night. This time, there was a bank robbery and the culprit vaguely matched the description of this man. Since he didn't respond appropriately, and put his hand in his pocket and wouldn't lie down, he was shot. It is a horrible story.

The memorial is updated periodically, and they even mow around it themselves, before the highway department does. I understand the need for those people to never forget, but to insist that we never forget is asking too much. Most people who drive by there don't know what the memorial is for, because it's just crosses and some flowers. We could all memorialize the tragic deaths of our loved ones in a public way, but that is what funerals are for.

That said, I would prefer that the people who put up memorials be allowed to come to the understanding in their own time that time does wash away memories, and the entire community doesn't have to be reminded. No one wants to be forgotten, but eventually we all are.

Karen

[carpaltunnel]

No one wants to be forgotten, but eventually we all are.

Good point. I see roadside memorials around town that appear to be renewed year after year by someone.

I also see decals in the back windows of cars driven by teens, in this format..."In loving memory of X 19xx-19xx" Some auto detailing shop is making money off those kids.

[Zen]

I also see decals in the back windows of cars driven by teens, in this format..."In loving memory of X 19xx-19xx" Some auto detailing shop is making money off those kids.

Those are decals (DIY) and I find them strange.
I wouldn't mind the memorials so much if they were tasteful and simple (many are) but too often there are mylar balloons and other knick-knacks involved.

[carpaltunnel]

find them strange

I agree. I'm certainly no expert, but I wonder if those things short circuit the healing process, and teach people to practice grieving. I'm thinking of a man who worked for my father. I knew him all my life, as he was also a shirt-tail relative. He lost his wife young and was so sad, but spent the rest of his life alone and grieving, and everyone (Family and small town) just kind of helped him stay in that role. I'm probably not expressing this very well, but do you know what I mean?

[badger]

I've also heard that memorials tend to distract drivers and may pose a risk for them to get in accidents themselves.