Road Rage and ashamed of it(a little long)

[GraysonKelly]

Hi All,
I'm so upset I could cry. Today I was going along like I usually do...pedalling along, sweaty, hot, and loving every moment. As always, I stayed out of the way of traffic as much as I could. And, as always, there were some people who just had to honk and shout at me. Normally, I just let it roll off, but these girls drove past me, slowed down, came onto the shoulder (which is about 2 meters wide) and tried to force me off the road. I should mention here that there's a drain ditch and then limestone rock wall. I stayed on the bike and as they started screaming and yelling stuff, I just lost it and screamed right back. The pulled ahead a bit and pulled off the road waiting for me. When I got up to them they asked me what my problem was and I very loudly and very rudely basically told them that if they can yell at me when I'm not bothering anyone then i certainly had the right to retaliate and yell right back and that if they couldn't take it they shouldn't dish it out. I stood there madder than heck and stared them down. They yelled some more stuff. Called me a bunch of names. I cussed a blue streak, got on my bike, rode around them and kept going on my way.
I'm ashamed of my behavior. I was scared at the way they tried to force me off the road and rightfully so, I think. But I think I handled that badly.
Any suggestions from any of you on how to handle that kind of situation? I'm lucky it was a bunch of girls instead of men. I doubt I would have been so bold if it had been. Maybe next time I should just whip out the phone and call the police. I don't know.
Gray

[salsabike]

I absolutely would call the police. Take the license number and call the police.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Get their license plate number next time and if possible take a cell phone picture of them and/or their vehicle, then call the police and report them.
I doubt their parents will enjoy having a visit from the police.
What they did is harassment and also purposely putting you in real physical danger.

[Blueberry]

Maybe not the best response, but a perfectly reasonable one IMO. I agree with the other posters - next time, take a picture of their license and let them know you're contacting the police. That should be enough to put a halt to that behavior. They were WAY out of line. That stuff happens (it did to me last week - someone tried to run me into a curb, and the next car yelled out the passenger window for me to get on the sidewalk). We have to stand our ground....

I don't think you have anything to be ashamed of. They have everything to be ashamed of.

CA

[Tri Girl]

I agree with the other two posts about calling the police. As far as I'm concerned, when a car tries to run you off the road, it's attempted vehicular manslaughter (ok- maybe it would be hard to prove, but 2000 lbs vs. 200 lbs seems like attempted murder to me).
Don't feel ashamed. Sometimes our raw human instinct takes control and we say and do things we might not otherwise do when we feel like we're in danger. You were standing up for yourself and trying to protect yourself against a potential threat. I think I would've reacted the same way.

I'm glad you're OK, tho.

[Biciclista]

when we are threatened and frightened, we sometimes react that way. Yes, it would have been better for you to just pull out your cellphone and dial 9-11 and report their license etc, they had already scared the cr@p out of you and you were reacting. So don't beat yourself up about it.
Same thing happened to my Dh a few months ago, only the jerk threatening him with a car, a car horn and verbal abuse was a police officer....
DH did Exactly what you did. He yelled and screamed back!
and got a ticket.

and then we went to court and the cop didn't show up and the case was dismissed.

[Grog]

I'm glad you're okay and I agree with the others: it may not have been the best thing, but don't feel guilty about it. Maybe all the good stuff you've thought about saying (after the fact, of course) will come in handy one day, although I really hope NOT.

I also agree about calling the police, taking pictures, whatever you can do. My husband had a similar thing happen to him last week and he had a little "conversation" rolling side by side with the male driver (who was accompanied by a woman passenger whom I'm sure was not too impressed by the driver by then). He told him that he had his license plate number and would call the police and the province's insurance corporation (they keep tabs and eventually increase your premiums if you look like you're a risky driver) right in if he didn't apologize... which, much to my surprise, the guy did (fumbling, but he did it).

Good luck and keep the rubber side down.

[wildhawk]

Bless your heart - I don’t blame you for getting mad and yelling back, but I would agree with the others, taking down the tag no. and reporting them is the best thing to do. Around here it is entirely too dangerous to yell back at bad drivers - there have been cases where guns were drawn and people shot at. Road rage can happen anytime, anywhere. And girls are just as bad (if not worse in some cases) than the boys when it comes to abusive language, etc. Take a deep breath and try and let it go - you reacted like anyone would have being threatened. Just make sure you get the info if it ever happens again and report it. Glad that you are o.k. and hope it doesn’t ruin your week. Take care.

[GraysonKelly]

Thanks everybody. I just don't like feeling like that and it's been a good long while since I've lost it quite like that. I am feeling much better and hope that I won't be having dreams tonight. When stuff like that happens I just get very panicky because I HAVE already been hit by a car while on my bike. It was years ago, but stuff like today just kind of brings it all back up. You all are amazing and thanks so much for the advice and compassion. I really appreciate it.
Gray
If it happens again, I'll make sure to note the license plate and whip out the phone.
Thanks again.

[Mr. Bloom]

Your emotions are normal. I like the idea of not just taking a picture of the plate, but immediately emailing it to your home email address. The act of photographing someone will run risk of infuriating them, but having the ability to say "it's been emailed home as evidence and my husband knows to look there is anything happens to me" can have a sobering effect.

Finally, I confronted a similar issue a few months ago...and am trying to be prepared with humor to disarm situations like this:

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=23477

[chicago]

I would have pushed them and got their license number and then ended up in jail for assault... now that would be something to be ashamed of

... but honestly, I know how you feel. I have had to "zip" it many times when cars come to close... but sometimes you just get sick of it and yell back....

[Andrea]

Don't feel bad. They're stupid "female dogs" who will die miserably from a sedentary lifestyle while you're 90 and still happily riding your bike

[sundial]

I was scared at the way they tried to force me off the road and rightfully so, I think. Gray

Gray, I really have to hand it to you and the ladies here who commute in high traffic. I don't know if I would have the guts to ride where you ride.

I can certainly understand your response to them--especially after having an adrenaline rush. But my concern would be that by responding in kind to the driver only fuels the fire and they could possibly do you bodily harm with the vehicle or, God forbid, shoot you. People are just not patient anymore and they would rather bully their way through than to be courteous.

It's not fair and it's not right how you were treated, but you have to do whatever it takes to preserve life and limb. Get off the road (if possible), whip out that cell phone, get the license # and call the authorities.

[Biciclista]

Don't feel bad. They're stupid "female dogs" who will die miserably from a sedentary lifestyle while you're 90 and still happily riding your bike

great response!

[wildhawk]

great response!

I have only had a couple of rude remarks yelled at me from cars, but it does help to remind yourself that you are doing something healthy and worthwhile and they are not. They are probably jealous because they do not have the guts to get out and ride a bike in traffic, but feel bold riding around in their cars being obnoxious. I am fortunate that our county has a lot of commuters/recreational riders on bikes and while drivers may get annoyed at them, they are very numerous and a fact of life. And with the gas situation continuing to be out of control, bikes will become the norm in a lot of areas. I have already seen quite an increase of cyclists in the last couple of months and our cities are putting in more bike lanes.