I've been reading this thread with interest because I can relate so well to a lot of what you all are saying about your husbands.

My mountain-biking fanatic boyfriend (we live together and might as well be married) and I ride together sometimes and I have a lot of the same mental issues with feeling inadequate about my riding abilities.

He rides by himself or with others during the week and then we will usually ride together one day on the weekend (the only time I ride at all). When he rides with me, he calls it his "spinning day" or "easy ride day" and tells me he has to take it easy sometimes. And I'm usually dying and thinking the ride is very very difficult for me. He'll say things like "I've been in my middle ring all day" while I'm gagging up a hill in my granny gear that just make me want to scream. I take it as criticism and he says he's just stating a fact. I know he means well, but he doesn't understand how that makes me feel. And yes, I know it is because he is in better shape, but that doesn't make it feel any better.

Last weekend when I slipped off my pedal and banged it into my shin, yelling out a few four letter words in the process, his reaction was to say "let's just turn around and go home." Made me feel like he didn't want to ride with me because I am such a terrible rider that I can't manage to not get hurt. I am a bit stubborn so I just said no and took off up the trail without him (until I had to stop to catch my breath and he coasted up next to me).

He built a nice bike for me with expensive components thinking it would help me ride better. He has asked me multiple times if I just want to give up the nice mountain bike and get a cheap bike to ride on pavement. I don't want to ride alone, and I probably wouldn't ride around the neighborhood by myself, so I don't want another cheap bike. If I don't ride with him on his "easy spin day" he will go ride with someone else. He doesn't have much interest in doing anything with his free time other than mountain biking.

I know he was hoping to end up with someone that is as into riding as he is, and I just haven't gotten very good at it. He tried really hard to teach me and turn me into a mountain biker, but I have not taken to it very well and haven't progressed past a certain basic level. It doesn't seem to bother him as much as it bothers me, though. I see it as the only way we will ever go anywhere or do anything out of the house together so I keep going, even when I don't really want to.

I mentioned once about how women are built differently and ride differently and have differences with lung capacity and he said that was just excuses and that he has met plenty of women who can kick his a** on a mountain bike. Which I take as him telling me I should be able to get there too.

You all have suggested I ride with other women or ride alone to get better, but I just don't have enough motivation to really pursue that side of it. I talked to him about riding alone one day when he was going to literally climb a mountain with his friends but he didn't want me to. He was afraid I'd get hurt and didn't see the point in me driving 45 miles to do an easy 3 mile loop that I like. It also came down to me not being able to get my bike on my roof rack, which I mentioned before. I actually tried to lift it up there, but I'm way too short and can't reach.

Anyway, just venting, at least my BF isn't the only one who can be a bit insensitive at times.