So, as some of you may have read in another thread, i'm returning to college full time beginning Sept.

I am, at this moment, in the thro's (how do you spell that word?) of an anxiety attack. It's 3:50 am on the east coast and i'm still awake. i've taken my meds (9:00 pm) and here i sit.

How do I know I'm anxious... I've withdrawn into my art (if you can call it that). I've been designing a cycling jersey for no one for the last 4 hrs. I can't sleep... so for once I'm up with you left coasters.

No... I'm not looking for "le petite pity party". I guess that now, with one month to go, I'm just scared. O.K. I admit and accept the fear. Now what???

When some of you met me back at Cinderella, it was the first trip i'd taken in 2 yrs; heck, it was one of the few times I'd been out of the house since May of 2003. Now I'm throwing myself into the school thing... I'm 30 yrs older than most of the students; probably younger than the teachers. I'm second guessing myself.

I know it's ridiculous... I know it's silly. But I'm in the middle of it and can't seem to get out. I want to go to school, I really do. Jeez, I'm scared...

ignore this post. i'll be fine. i WILL be fine.

spazzdog