I know there's another worried about my big ride thread going but I have different concerns and I like hiding in the quiet of the new rider section.

I'm doing the Tour de Cure Saturday and I entered the metric century. Unfortunately I didn't get nearly the training I wanted in because my life has been crazy. I work two physical jobs, one at a small retail pet store that has me busting my butt chucking food around, and another bar tending. I walk my dogs a lot and commute to work about 10m round trip. I've gotten some 20m plus rides in as well as one 45m that didn't totally destroy me. I can change my mind and do the 50k but it seems so short.

Here are the stupid thoughts running through my head:

What if I get left behind and finish last, all alone?
What if I can't finish? Will they give me a ride back?
What if I'm so slow I get left out on the course and can't make it?

I know it seems totally dumb but it's a whole new world to me. I really don't mind riding alone, do it all the time, but it's the whole getting "herd bound" and panicking. I have some separation anxiety issues I swear. Once we when were at the beach and parked far away my mom went back to the car to get some sand castle supplies. I was freaking out the whole time thinking she left us because she was gone so long. Yeah, that's me in a nut shell.

I know this is all stupid, but they're real fears to me. Part of me knows I can do this, I've got grandma cheering for me, but that part is quieter than Little Miss Negative. I just need to be sure if I can't that someone with motorized wheels will cart my butt back. I'd rather start the 100k and fail than throw in the towel and do the 50k.