Dear BF,

You are so lucky I caught you before you THREW AWAY that chocolate chip cookie. No, cookies do not go bad in 2 days. I'm the one who's going to eat it. If it's stale (which it's not!), I'll dunk it. Besides, it was a gift from your co-worker for ME. Hands off, especially if you're thinking it's trash.

Why don't you throw away some of those heals of bread you're always leaving on the counter, instead, if you're so anxious to throw stuff away.

Very truly yours,
Red