Dear So and So

[Tuckervill]

You didn't need 'em anyway! Welcome back, Mary!

Karen

[Eden]

Dear thief,

It was so nice of you to find my wallet and phone and decide to use them rather than return them. It would have been oh so difficult to open my phone and call home in the phonebook, or to look at my drivers license and walk the 3 blocks to my house.

Too bad I figured out a way to get my phone # and minutes back (its a prepaid phone - not a plan) from you. I just took a call today from your storage unit company. I've been ignoring calls for you to this point, but since I answered it today I figured I'd tell them that you stole my phone and that it was useless to call that number to get you anymore. He told me that you gave my phone number as your primary contact and only have until the end of today to pay your rent or lose your stuff. I'd like to ask your friend who phoned me and called me a "stupid b*tch", who is the stupid one now?

Doesn't it sting when karma bites you on the butt....

[mimitabby]

Eden, is this a new wallet theft or the one that you told us about some months ago?

[Eden]

Eden, is this a new wallet theft or the one that you told us about some months ago?

Same one - she used my phone for several weeks before I'd gotten around to replacing it (its a prepaid and I ordered it off of the internet, so it took a few days to get to me too). I was very much surprised to find out when I activated the new phone that I could keep my old phone number and even have the minutes transferred (what was left at least) since the web site expressly said minutes from lost and/or stolen phones were not refundable. I also had not been in hurry because of this policy - had I known that it was not correct, I'd have replaced it much quicker, before she had a chance to use up a lot of my minutes.

For the first week or two I got a lot of calls from businesses looking for her to pay them (most of which I had no hesitation to informing them that she was a fraud and a thief and had given them the number from a stolen phone....) and from her delightful friends too.... most of it tailed off after that. Listening to all of the voice mail her loser friends left was pretty amusing.

[tulip]

Dear Ex,
I'm so glad that your life is turning around. Sometimes it takes a huge kick in the a$$ to grow up. Now you have a real job, a new (for you) car, and you even talk of hiring someone to clean your house. Don't you remember that I really wanted to hire someone to do the heavy cleaning because you wouldn't and I was working full time and didn't want spend my very few non-working hours scrubbing the kitchen floor? You said that it was a waste of money (well, if you had just gotten a job, that would not have been an issue, now would it?), that we could take care of it. We meaning me.

Despite your words, your actions showed in no uncertain terms that I was not worth much to you. And one more thing, bucco, there is absolutely no reason in the world to tell me that you cannot remember what I look like. Nearly 20 years together, and you don't remember what I look like, now that there says loud and clear that you didn't pay much attention while I was around. So lay off the guilt trip about me up and leaving. The hardest thing I've ever done, and the most important thing, too, for both of us.

Signed,
Your Finally Happy But Still Somewhat Stressed Out Soon To Be Ex (as soon as you deem it reasonable to sign just a few papers) Adoring Wife

[Flybye]

Dear So and So,

Tulip's letter reminds me of something. Please try to be clear when YOU indicate that WE can get something done. There are three choices:
#1 - WE meaning WE
#2 - WE meaning ME
#3 - WE meaning YOU

Please be more specific. It makes it easier for ME to say NO if YOU are using choice #2. I will almost always gladly say YES to options #1 and #2, but would like to have the opportunity to say no if I don't want to do it alone.

Thanks!!

Signed, WE #2 - aka ME

[Tiffany]

Dear Deedolce, accept the date with the local racer. Being adored by someone who doesn't curl your toes often ends up feeling like a tremendous burden. You derserve to be adored by someone you adore as well.

+1 - I know from experience. Go on the date with the racer. It can't hurt.

[sundial]

Dear Tiffany,

Old Navy is bringing back the frisbee. It will be in stores sometime this month.

Signed,
frisbee crazed german shedder

[SouthernBelle]

Dear A T &T:

When you call me at the office to try and sell me an upgrade, I will not buy it. I don't buy anything from anybody who bothers me over the phone. I keep telling you that and you keep calling.

I think I'm going to buy a whistle. Or maybe an air horn.

[Tiffany]

Dear Tiffany,

Old Navy is bringing back the frisbee. It will be in stores sometime this month.

Signed,
frisbee crazed german shedder

Dear Frisbee Crazed German Shedder,

There is a God afterall.

Signed,
Emmitt, the frisbee loving Border Collie

[ikkin]

Dear Maya the Dog,

You are with us now. We will take care of everything. There is no need to put your hackles up when people are walking down the opposite side of the street. There is no need to bark and charge the door like a wolverine when people come a-visiting. There is no need to startle and whip your head around at the smallest sounds. We know you more practice, but in the meantime, feel free to open your mouth every once in awhile. You can do the doggie smile. You can relax. We promise we won't let anything bad happen to you or to us.

Love,
Mom and Dad

[OakLeaf]

Dear Surgeon,

If you don't think I can handle the results of my biopsy without a personal call from you, how in the world do you think I gave informed consent to the procedure? Just wondering.

P.S. Do you plan to call me any time soon? Because I'm making an appointment with Medical Records. I have a right to my pathology report under State law.

[emily_in_nc]

Oakleaf,

I am hoping that no news is good news...please keep us posted. I can imagine how frustrating it is having to wait for your results.

[milkbone]

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

You must really think you are the best thing since sliced bread, to treat me the way you did over the past few months and expect me to sit silently and be walked on like a doormat.

You made yourself part of a family for over two years, then one day decided you were "bored". Well, I will have you know you and your long winded stories about work and how everyone else is wrong but you, definetly weren't anything close to what I'd call exciting.

I don't deserve to be treated like a doormat, and my boys definetly didn't deserve you to just walk out with no explanation (leaving them to believe it was something they did), and oh what a "stand up kindof guy" you were when I told you what they were saying. Of course, you ignored my comments like they didn't exist.

Yes, we did try to work things out over the past couple of months, but I refuse to be treated like I'm only wanted when you have nothing better to occupy you. I will not be rejected because you have "dirty dishes to clean" and be ok with it. You reap what you sow, and I'm a firm believer in karma, and for you - it seems to already be started (hence, the loud annoying neighbors...among other things).

I deserve to be treated a heck of a lot better. One day you will realize what you walked out on, a loyal and caring companion, two wonderful boys, and you had a life any man would have dreamed of. A girlfriend who payed all the big bills, did the laundry, the cleaning, errands, mowed the yard all on the days you worked, so all you had to do when you got home was...oh nothing. Maybe thats where I went wrong, I made it way too easy on you. Now you can do your own laundry, clean up after yourself, and mow your own yard (whenever you get a mower, since you won't be borrowing mine again).

I will not be a doormat, and I will not sit silently and be walked on. I'm sure you have a long line of girls wanting to go out with a short, pudgy, hairy, small man like yourself, because I'm sure at dinner they will want their ears to be chewed to pieces about you talking about yourself and how great you THINK you are.

Sincerely,

Your better-off-without-you ex-girlfriend


---- Sorry, about the long post, felt good to vent though

[Trek420]

Dear Eden cell-phone thief,

You are not only unethical but dumb, dumb, dumb. Now all Eden has to do (and or cops) is using reverse directory get listings on all the calls you made, and all the calls you got. With that info she (and or the cops) will soon show up at your door.

Dear SouthernBelle and anyone who gets sales calls of any sort,

www.donotcall.gov

You can register all your numbers, home, work, cell .... Once it has been on the registry for 31 days if they call you can file a complaint at this Website too and if they call, there are penalties.

Dear Oakleaf,

Hoping that no news is good news.

Dear Maya the dog. Welcome to the pack of TE gals and guys and their dogs. Enjoy, have an ear scritchie and a cookie. You've got a great pack now. Have fun being a dog. My mutt says "hi, it'll be okay. It's fun being a dog when you have great people".

Dear Trek's very own ex gf, brPHHHRffffttttt (sp?) Look what I got now