words that make you grit your teeth

[Aggie_Ama]

My mom did that same thing when she got married. The main reason was her mother was declared legally blind and thus unable to drive. My mother would often run errands and write checks off her mom's account so it was easier to have the last name as her middle name. Oddly they both have the same first name so it looked like the same person.

Another reason I did it is my Pawpaw died 3 weeks prior to my wedding. My maiden was his last name and I desperately wanted to hold onto a little piece of him. I still want that and I have it on my drivers license. I sign my name Amanda _. ________. It (maiden name) is a horrible German mess of a name to spell so I don't write it out or hyphenate. Plus the hyphenated names confused me when I was younger and put a dislike of them in my brain forever.

[mimitabby]

I did it too. My Middle name starts with the same letter as my maiden name, so that made it really easy. It's an easy way to show my heritage.

[Zen]

Maiden name.

"Maiden"?
When I encounter a form that asks for a maiden name I scratch out 'maiden' and replace it with 'birth'

[mimitabby]

Maiden name.

"Maiden"?
When I encounter a form that asks for a maiden name I scratch out 'maiden' and replace it with 'birth'

score! sheesh. never thought of that. I guess i'm clueless

[bmccasland]

Well Zen, I was a fair flaxen haired maiden, once upon a time, in a land far far away!

So when I said "I don't" and signed the paperwork, I took my maiden name back, which for some reason ticked my X off.

But somewhere along the way my stepdad felt slighted. Had a birth name, natural father was killed in the line of duty when I was 3 days old, Mom remarried when I was 2, and I started using his name. Back then it was not common for kids to have different names than their parents. Turned 18 and had to use my "legal" name - Dad never adopted me. Anyway in a 10 year period, I had 3 different last names.

On another note - it is often common among southern ladies to drop their middle name and used their maiden/birth name as their middle name.

[Aggie_Ama]

Beth- I find it curious that you refer to you dad as your natural father. Only because my dad was adopted and refers to his mother and father as "natural", not "biological". My father's natural mother died when he was three, his natural father when he was 10. My grandparents adopted him at eight. I wonder if there is a generational difference, although I am sure you are younger than my dad (born 1953)? His biological parents had 3 sons, he calls them his natural brothers. He does call the one he has become friends with just his brother sometimes.

My friend's ex was also mad when she had her maiden name restored after the divorce. He is still controlling after the divorce and it just really angers him. I am like, jeez she didn't want you why would she want your name??

[mimitabby]

natural vs biological

when the parent is not a contributing member; ie deadbeat dads and even sperm donor dads (another pejorative)
we call them biological.

but if you lose your dad through death and have a stepdad, you might call your real dad "natural"

[Dianyla]

"Maiden"?
When I encounter a form that asks for a maiden name I scratch out 'maiden' and replace it with 'birth'

The other one that really gets me?

"Ladies". It's not quite as bad as "Laydeezzzzz" but it's getting there. I know some people (mostly men, sometimes women) are just trying to be polite, but I find it degrading. I usually give them a deadpan stare and reply "I'm not a lady."

The best part is that now I've got several coworkers trained. They'll come over to my workspace (which is, curiously, where all of the females in our mostly male department are all clustered together) and say "Hey, Ladies? (And Diane?)"

[ikkin]

wow, long thread. haven't read the whole thing, so i'm not sure if this has been mentioned before, but i hate the whole "if you will..." thing. especially when used relentlessly in the cube farm.

"i went to the store to get broccolli, if you will..."

if i will what???!! it means nothing. arrggh!!!

[bmccasland]

How about starting with... "can I ask you a question?" then ask the actual question. What if I say NO to question #1?

If you need my attention, and have a question, how about starting with Excuse Me, where/what/how .....?

I have been known to answer Can I ask you a question?, with No. Then ask why do you use that leading phrase? Just ask the question! (and the voice in my head is phasing it a bit differently and less polite. Bad voice bad bad voice).

[bmccasland]

I suppose I grew up hearing my biological father referred to as my "natural" father. As Mom remarried when I was a toddler, my "real" Dad to me is legally my Step-Dad - as he's the one who was tangible.

The "biological" reference is a more recent bit of nomenclature, and I agree, it's usually in the context as a sperm-bank doner or a dead-beat dad. Genetics is the only relationship.

To me, my "father" was the man who died in 1959. My "Dad" is the one who taught me to ride a bike.

Can I ask you a question....?

[7rider]

How about starting with... "can I ask you a question?" then ask the actual question. What if I say NO to question #1?

Sure. You "can." But you MAY not!

[Zen]

How about starting with... "can I ask you a question?" then ask the actual question. What if I say NO to question #1?

If you need my attention, and have a question, how about starting with Excuse Me, where/what/how .....?

"Quick question" really bugs me.
It's obviously a question and usually not quick.