Peeing standing up is not that hard. I learned shortly after squatting in the snow, touching my butt to said snow, and nearly making a mess when it startled me. Takes practice, and it's hard to convince your body at first.
I had a little implement I made from those spoon things you use to give liquid meds to kids. I just drilled a hole in the end. Easy as pie, and free since most pharmacies give them away with their name on it. Oh, if they only knew.
"True, but if you throw your panties into the middle of the peloton, someone's likely to get hurt."