How can I train with my husband???

[han-grrl]

I think that hubby and wife should ride together, but not necessarily train - also set some "ground rules" like do you want him to comment on your technique? cuz he's gonna, and if he isn't a trainer "teacher" he will just say whats on his mind, and you may end up on the defensive and end up arguing (not that i have ANY experience with this, really... hahaha)

So when riding with my husband, i tell him this is a) ride - not teaching or b) please help me, i want to session some things or c) start together, but we're doing intervals, we'll meet up on recovery.

its hard to ride with someone who is fitter/faster/more experienced - because they want to feel they are getting some "workout" too. So its important to agree on what you both want to work on during the ride.

[KnottedYet]

I'm looking at the same situation.

I'm thinking "tandem." Ping-ponging is groovy sometimes, but I'd like to ride with my sweetie sometimes, too.

Due to height differences and strength differences between stoker and captain, we're considering a Rans Screamer recumbent tandem. (about $4,000-5,000)

(besides, I kind of miss my BikeE recumbent, and want another 'bent!)

[kelownagirl]

Everyone has had some great suggestions. One other thing my DH and I have done is for him to ride on ahead for 3-4 minutes, then turn around and ride back to me and/or past me. He can ride his speed, I can ride mine, and we're always fairly close together. He likes this a little better than stopping and waiting for me because he can keep on riding. I like it because I'm not looking at him in the distance all the time and yet I'm not riding totally alone.

Now that I'm running and swimming, and riding a little less, he does hard rides alone, and easier rides when he's with me.

[Crankin]

None of our rides are "training," so maybe this won't work for you. When I started riding my husband was at his fastest. He just rode at my pace or a little ahead of me. He did his fastest rides with other people, who he no longer rides with. I got faster just by going out and riding alone, getting faster and getting lighter bikes over the years. Now we are more evenly matched. If we are going out for a long ride, we stay together. Since most of our riding involves hills, we usually average around 14-15 on these days. Flat rides we average around 16-17. Now, when he rides to work (maybe 2 days a week) he'll average 17 even 18 and my average alone on a hilly "training" ride tends to be in the high 15's, including the 15% climb at the end. I will never be as strong as my husband, but there are times when I can climb faster than him. It's usually when he is pacing himself because he is tired. He descends like a rocket and that's my least favorite part of riding, so he waits.
We usually do our weekend rides with another couple. He is a bit stronger than my husband and sometimes takes off ahead, but they usually stay together. My friend is slow; hence I often end up in the middle, riding alone. At certain points in these rides, though, my husband stays with me and is perfectly happy. Our goal is to ride together until we keel over and drop dead....

[arielmoon]

Great suggestions here! BF got me riding a few months ago when he was just getting back into it after 2 years. Right now I am quite a bit stronger and way more fit. I have a hard time staying on his wheel but if I go ahead to pull I leave him behind. I feel bad cause this was something of our 'together' time and the poor guy has to hear about it from people that see me way out there in front of him all the time.

I had someone experienced people tell me I should race and he was quite proud of that but I am sure his ego has been taking a beating. Yesterday I sat behind him for 75% of the ride and barely broke a sweat so I let that be a light day for me. We averaged 17.9 and my best ever on the same 20 mile loop three days prior was 19mph. I am going to take some of the advice of posters here and find a riding partner that is more at my level for some of my rides. I ride solo a few days a week and I just remembered there is a group ride at LBS once a week that I could do too.

It sounds like he could eventually be faster than me so I better not let this go to my head!

Great thread!

[sundial]

I thought it said 'how can I train my husband?" and I thought, 'you can't, men are untrainable'

LOL! I read the same thing too. Mr. Silver might disagree, however.

[Andrea]

My husband and I are fairly close in ability. He generally climbs faster than I do, so on hills we each do our own ride. He waits for me at the top. Every now and then it will be the other way around for us and I'll wait for him.

I have a lot more endurance so once we get above sixty miles or so I have a definite advantage.

V.

Hehehe... this reminds me of my ride last sunday. The BF and I ride to a group ride- round trip 73 miles. During the "hammer" portion of the group ride, he was up front when I got dropped (sometimes I can hang, sometimes not- it's prettymuch a race-intensity pace with some cat 1/2/3 men for several miles over large rolling hills). So, to get back at him, on the way home- about mile 65, I dropped the hammer on him... he didn't complain at the time, but later admitted that it hurt him worse than the earlier effort

[Jiffer]

TANDEM, TANDEM, TANDEM!!!!!!!!!

The tandem is the best way for you to ride "with" each other and not worry about either one of you being left behind or not getting the workout they really want. You can each push as little or as hard as you want.

My husband and I ride both singles and a tandem. Most of the time we ride separately on our singles, but when we want to be "together", we ride the tandem. It's also a great way for me to get to hang with his faster riding buddies. We have friends who ride tandem as well, so we do rides together, all four of us, which would be completely different if we were all on our singles. The guys wouldn't be getting as much of a work out and the girls would be huffing and puffing to keep up. The guys have said over and over again that it's like a dream to be able to ride "with" their wives like that.

As for riding together on singles, my husband does ride with me from time to time. He will usually stay on his big ring and do a different sort of work out. Climb a hill slowly on his big ring, with the goal of keeping his heart rate as low as possible (while I'm dying, of course!). Sometimes he'll get ahead and then turn around and come back.

I've been training for a century with a friend lately, who is stronger than me. Sometimes she stays with me, maybe on a harder gear, and sometimes she'll just stop at some point and wait for me to catch up.

However, I often just ride alone. No worries about holding anyone back. Don't have to feel bad about myself that I'm not going faster. I like the variety of doing all three. Sometimes the tandem, sometimes on my single with someone or a group, and sometimes all by myself.

[mayanorange]

This is a helpful thread. My last ride I decided DH and I should ride together- a bit of company is nice, right? He's inherently stronger than me and has been able to ride more- he's on sabbatical and I was having issues finding a saddle I could stand. He's been doing 30 mile rides (and when he exercises, he's insanely driven) and I'm about to keel over at about 10-12 miles. So this last ride was probably the least relaxing bike ride I've ever been on- either watching him power away from me with ease (and never look back) or when he wants to let me set the (snaily) pace, all I hear behind me is the ratchet of him coasting whilst I'm pedaling my tush off. I guess I just need to go out alone since he can't just spin and enjoy it.

[indigoiis]

I can't ride with my husband on anything under 50 miles, because otherwise he is off like a shot. But on longer rides he likes my steady slower pace because it keeps him pacing himself and then he doesn't "blow up."

So for those together rides, plan on longer ones and work together to practice things like pace line training and stopping at antique shops and bakeries.

For the actual training rides, do group rides. Husband can go blow up with the leaders, and you (and I) can find other riders more our pace.

If you do want to do a fun trainer with your fast guy, do something really really short and play "chase the rabbit." We do this occasionally. We'll do like, eleven miles and I chase him over hill and dale. It hurts like hell but it really is good for training - you'll see improvement.

[Cyclo Kitty]

Wow, I guess I'm really lucky. We are pretty evenly matched, though we do use different-bike handicapping.

I ride my cross bike, he rides SS on longer, hilly rides and we're pretty evenly matched, though he was consistently pulling ahead on descents until I got new rims. They were totally worth it to pass him .

We also take turns in front, so there are no excess drafting accusations. Over the course of several rides, it all seems to average out. I really appreciate DH's patience, though admittedly, I think of it as training and he thinks of it as riding. (He's non-competitive.) So attitude is as much a factor as fitness (or sweet new rims!) in happy co-riding.

[Natural Beauty]

That's funny that I read this thread today as we are having a marriage challenge day....He could ride into the lake and it would be all good. HAHA

Tandem would be nice – no competitive streaks coming out…not that any of us have that problem.

[shootingstar]

My BF and I live apart, so most of our rides together are while we're on vacation, not training. He's faster, so he'll pull if he wants a workout, or he hangs back if he wants me to set the pace. When we're on vacation, we use the camera a lot -- he hangs back and gets lots of action pictures of me, or he goes to the top of the climb, takes landscape shots, and then get shots of me summiting.

You can do things to even things out. Give the faster rider all the gear to carry -- pump, spares, food, etc. Give him a heavier bike -- he rides a mtb or hybrid while you're on a road bike. Have him do an hour of intervals and then come and ride with you.

yea, the stronger rider, if the person would consider cycling with extra weight, as a form of "training" which it truly can be if you plan to go long-distance touring through mountains...you had better first try grocery-shopping with panniers on a long route with multiple long hills at home..

I think the above reason is that's probably the reason why my partner doesn't get bothered lugging more groceries, but often only if I OFFER initially to carry my share of the weight first. It gives him the option to turn me down. And I have no problems if he turns me down....after all I had to lug all the grocery weight on bike for 16 kms. for several years when he and I lived in different cities.

He is the one is stronger rider , and has done several rides across the continent.

We ride together but he does tend to ride ahead because he is stronger, and on quiet routes, does loops for me to catch up. Each of us also ride solo, so he gets to train at his pace and I ride to please myself or do stuff on my own.

It's truly important for the weaker rider, to become strong, independent rider mentally by not feeling "left behind", particular if the stronger rider already in good-spirit, does reliably wait at different points ahead or slows down abit. The weaker rider should also try riding some long routes at their own pace, at 50-120 kms. solo, to become more indpendent and self-reliant. Then riding with stronger partner still ahead on a different ride, the whole bike ride will be enjoyable for both.

Often I do lose sight temporarily of him..usually on routes that I know already. So no point worrrying nor feeling left out. If you are touring in an area you don't know, it is important that a couple try to stay within sightline of each other somehow. Otherwise, lots of wasted time, backtracking/hunting for each other.

by the way, as a couple, we don't talk much while we are cycling. Yelling and not hearing each other while trying to cycle at a fit speed, is not ideal to loving communication. We have a wonderful unspoken cycling language together!

[aicabsolut]

My BF and I ride together a fair amount, but when we "train" (hammer) together, it's usually a group ride, where he is having fun contesting the county line sprints and I am hanging on for dear life. He's really happy when I can hang with the big boys, though I'm usually suffering. But hey, cycling (well, racing) is all about improving one's ability to suffer, physically and mentally. So I do those rides, because they are good for me, and fun in hindsight . When we ride solo together, I can just get in the draft if he wants to work harder. Or, I'll let him fly up long hills and then we regroup. It can suck always feeling like you're just having to try to keep up, but at the same time, he says that I make him work hard too. For example, I'll want to hammer on descents and some fun, flat sections to reward myself for going uphill to get there. He likes climbing better. So, we're each stronger/faster/more motivated on different parts of the route and can challenge each other that way. If he really wants to train hard, like when he does his big sprints workouts with the area hammerheads, he goes alone, which is fine with me.

[shootingstar]

And tandem...we rented once, tried it for about 20 kms. That was enough....about 14 yrs. ago.

I sat behind-- I'm 5'1", he's 5'10".

We've been together long enough..that competing each other in anything we do, doesn't work. I don't recall an activity where we even compete one another for fun or any...probably a sign that our different strengths are significantly noticeable and presumably complementary. Encouraging one another works though.

If I want his opinion / help related to cycling, I ask for it. But even unsolicited, he knows when to nicely drop a casual comment on the odd occasion. And just leave it alone with me to ponder over.

He knows my weakest point is my weak geo-spatial , wayfinding capabilities. ..which really isn't solely cycling-related.