reaching fork in road of life

[shootingstar]

Have you recently reached a major fork in road in life where you know big change will happen once more again or you will have to make big decision?

Right now it feels like the calm at the plateau before ...well, not necessarily the storm, but before another unknown journey up another unknown mountain/hill range, depending what happens and what I decide...if a job offer(s) occurs. If not, I still have my present job.

The last time this happened to me was when I made the major decision to resign from a job in Toronto and sold my home before relocating to Vancouver. During this time, I didn't tell anyone at work, ..until I handed in my resignation letter. It was a major surprise to employees who knew me/worked with me.

ANd now it feels like those still moments in time --waiting..

[Bruno28]

Have you recently reached a major fork in road in life where you know big change will happen once more again or you will have to make big decision?

yes - go with it

[tulip]

Yes, I had to make a big decision a few years ago. Painful, but the clarity of it was startling. When it's right, you will know. I found it important to give myself the space and time to listen. That meant slowing down, shutting up, seeing, and listening.

[kelownagirl]

Good luck - hope it's a positive change!

I find it's harder to anticipate change than experience it. It took me several years to finally separate from my ex-husband but the relief was amazing once I'd done it. Next year will be a big year of change for me again - I'll be getting bumped out of the school I've been teaching at for 15 years, due to downsizing. Sigh.

[TahoeDirtGirl]

oh boy do I know what you are talking about...mine right now feels like a holding pattern or treading water. I'm weighing all my options and trying to figure out what to do next.

I sometimes wish I had that 'stable' life, you know, where you grew up and still live in the same town, same relationship since high school, etc. Does that happen anymore?? I just feel like a gypsy and I got stuff strewn from coast to coast!

I just do alot of reading and just try and piece together some signs on where I should be and what I should be doing next. It ain't easy!

[LBTC]

SS - sending you butterflies that will help you see exactly the right decision, and help you keep your heart open to the posibilities!

TDG - yes, I *am* one of those people. DH and I have been together since I was in 11th grade - we'll celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary this fall. We both feel so fortunate to have each other, and to have wanted change in our lives at the same time.

Yes, we have made some major changes lately. Two years ago, moved from the town I grew up in to this wonderful small city in the sunny Okanagan. In that time we've gone from both being dependent on the forest industry, to both working for high tech firms. We've morphed from mountain bikers to road bikers. We've gotten happier, fitter, more in touch with each other, met wonderful people, had more fun - it goes on and on.

With my move from the company that I'd been with for 12 years, and which gave me the safety net to move here 2 years ago, to the up and coming new company that is based on quantum technology, it feels like someone took the lid off my genie bottle! Anything can happen and I wouldn't put bets on any particular direction for my future. Here, somewhere else, doing whatever, it's all good!

Be open, trust yourself, trust your instincts, trust the universe, visualize butterflies, have fun. Each of us is exactly where we need to be right now.

KG - do you have a new position to go to? Will you be close enough to ride to your job still?

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[shootingstar]

Thx for the good wishes, I'll need it if anything different materializes.

I was flown by air to different employers ..yes, interviews at places outside of present city. This is how complicated things could become...or not. Latter result is fine also.

KG, I hope you get a job related to your experience next year. Yea, bumping...that collective agreement "benefit" curse. I did experience myself when I worked in government...a shocking experience. Fortunately I elected to apply immediately for a parallel job that matched my formal training and years of experience. I was INCREDIBLY lucky. It was a great work experience and probably led me to several other jobs thereafter.

It was a long time ago. But the place that I was bumped from, holds a special place professionally in my heart and head since where I was working at that time, only 60 similar places like that exist world-wide.

[emily_in_nc]

My company, where I've worked for 23 years (with a couple of brief interruptions after which I returned to the fold), is currently doing deep layoffs in the department I work in. I have about a 50/50 chance of being laid off by the end of the year. If I am not laid off, I'll be training the folks we are outsourcing most of our R&D and support work to, thanks to executive orders to reduce our development costs. Training, then hand-holding/babysitting. I'm not sure which is the best alternative -- losing my job, or being one of the "lucky" ones left behind.

If I do get laid off, DH and I are discussing (and have been for a long time) taking off on our sailboat and going cruising for a year or three. We have a decent nest egg, and my severance would pay for the first seven months. It would be a HUGE change from our current existence, but possibly one of the most rewarding things we've ever done. However, change is scary, especially as we get a little older, so I find myself torn between wanting to get laid off so that I can go for this adventure we keep dreaming of, and wanting to be spared so that I can continue pulling in a good income. And part of me thinks that if I don't get laid off, I'll be bitterly disappointed and unhappy in the changed role I'll have, working with the outsource company folks.

Definitely a crossroads...I feel your pain! (All emotions come into play here, don't they???)

Emily

[solobiker]

I know what you mean. I have gone through some major changes in the past couple of years and it was a challenge at times, but it has all worked out for the best. Good Luck!!

[solobiker]

My company, where I've worked for 23 years (with a couple of brief interruptions after which I returned to the fold), is currently doing deep layoffs in the department I work in. I have about a 50/50 chance of being laid off by the end of the year. If I am not laid off, I'll be training the folks we are outsourcing most of our R&D and support work to, thanks to executive orders to reduce our development costs. Training, then hand-holding/babysitting. I'm not sure which is the best alternative -- losing my job, or being one of the "lucky" ones left behind.

If I do get laid off, DH and I are discussing (and have been for a long time) taking off on our sailboat and going cruising for a year or three. We have a decent nest egg, and my severance would pay for the first seven months. It would be a HUGE change from our current existence, but possibly one of the most rewarding things we've ever done. However, change is scary, especially as we get a little older, so I find myself torn between wanting to get laid off so that I can go for this adventure we keep dreaming of, and wanting to be spared so that I can continue pulling in a good income. And part of me thinks that if I don't get laid off, I'll be bitterly disappointed and unhappy in the changed role I'll have, working with the outsource company folks.

Definitely a crossroads...I feel your pain! (All emotions come into play here, don't they???)

Emily

DH and I would love to take a trip like that. I grew up back east on the water and have wanted to take a year or two and just travel by boat. Someday we hope to do that along the west coast. Keep me/us posted. That is great!!

[shootingstar]

I'm not sure which is the best alternative -- losing my job, or being one of the "lucky" ones left behind.

If I do get laid off, DH and I are discussing (and have been for a long time) taking off on our sailboat and going cruising for a year or three. We have a decent nest egg, and my severance would pay for the first seven months. It would be a HUGE change from our current existence, but possibly one of the most rewarding things we've ever done. However, change is scary, especially as we get a little older, so I find myself torn between wanting to get laid off so that I can go for this adventure we keep dreaming of, and wanting to be spared so that I can continue pulling in a good income. And part of me thinks that if I don't get laid off, I'll be bitterly disappointed and unhappy in the changed role I'll have, working with the outsource company folks.

Definitely a crossroads...I feel your pain! (All emotions come into play here, don't they???)

Emily

I know a guy from my current workplace who did sail around the world for about 2-3 years PRIOR to his work stint at our present company. His job contract recently ended. Right now, he's sailing from Vancouver across the Pacific to Asia in his boat.

It does help to plan the financing such dreams. I hope when the time comes next year, emily that you will make the best decision. Frankly I could never take off from a job so easily. I've done it once, but I was unemployed for 7 months...before I landed a job. This was aggressive job searching and applying on my part. It's not the sort of thing I would voluntarily want to do again unless I had some sort of paid leave arrangement.

[emily_in_nc]

It does help to plan the financing such dreams. I hope when the time comes next year, emily that you will make the best decision. Frankly I could never take off from a job so easily. I've done it once, but I was unemployed for 7 months...before I landed a job. This was aggressive job searching and applying on my part. It's not the sort of thing I would voluntarily want to do again unless I had some sort of paid leave arrangement.

In my case, it would not be voluntary, though; it would be due to a layoff providing me the "opportunity" to do something I probably wouldn't normally do (not brave enough!) I can't imagine ever just quitting my job and going for it -- but if they lay me off, then I just might. I would have the first seven months paid by my severance, as I stated, and we could live pretty inexpensively on our boat. My DH is already retired and is itching to take off and have some adventures, and we've invested enough over the years to be able to consider doing something like this. But it's still a big, scary step. Still, it's one that beckons to me.

Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack the thread!

Emily

[boy in a kilt]

Have you recently reached a major fork in road in life where you know big change will happen once more again or you will have to make big decision?

Right now it feels like the calm at the plateau before ...well, not necessarily the storm, but before another unknown journey up another unknown mountain/hill range, depending what happens and what I decide...if a job offer(s) occurs. If not, I still have my present job.

The last time this happened to me was when I made the major decision to resign from a job in Toronto and sold my home before relocating to Vancouver. During this time, I didn't tell anyone at work, ..until I handed in my resignation letter. It was a major surprise to employees who knew me/worked with me.

ANd now it feels like those still moments in time --waiting..

Yes. Very much so. I get activated to go to Iraq on April 11th. Given the state of my company, I have no expectation of a job when I get back. But the important thing is I'm good at landing on my feet and my wife will always be there. Everything else will sort itself out.

[NbyNW]

I get activated to go to Iraq on April 11th.

Whoa! And I thought just moving was stressful. Be careful over there. Not that you wouldn't be.

And re: the main topic of this thread, I've been feeling like I can't plan my life more than 5 weeks out, for a few years now. Partly because I've had an injury that seems to govern what I can and can't do, and partly because my DH works in finance, and while his job has been "safe" since he's been dealing with a lot of crisis management, the notion of greener pastures is sounding appealing, as rare as they may be.

We've really become fond of Seattle, though . . .

[boy in a kilt]

Thanks. I'll be the Battalion Intelligence Officer so I should be reasonably safe. If nothing else, I'll be protected because of the information I'll carry around in my head.

We moved to Seattle in 2005. In that time, I've lost three jobs. In one case, I was a contract programmer for NOAA and my contract ran out. I got laid off from another job that I really liked and fired from one I really hated.

I like my current job, but the company is on dicey ground and we don't know if we will still have jobs in six weeks. But one of my personal mottoes is "Die Trying."

I draw my power and persistence from my family. I've made certain promises to SGTiger and I intend to keep them. Now that I've bought a house and she'll have the garden she has always wanted. Next promise is putting her through school without her having to scramble for funds like I did. I had to call in an old debt for about $0.25 on the dollar to have enough money for my last term of college.

The point of all that is that having a larger purpose gives you inspiration. If the greener pastures are really greener and will help you accomplish your goals, whatever they may be, the decisions are easier to make.