How to deal with a petty boss? (Long post, sorry!)

[mimitabby]

in a situation like this "take this job and shove it" is not an immature reaction. It is clear that you can't win here. It's just a part time job, get another one.
they lose, not you.

[Flybye]

in a situation like this "take this job and shove it" is not an immature reaction

Very well said.

[Duck on Wheels]

Get wifey to write you a shining recommendation, then cut and run! That's my advice. They need a therapist, and that's not what you took on as your job. Of course, if wifey won't write you a rosy letter of rec, you could just hang around until the company goes down the tubes, then go out job hunting without a rec from them by saying that you left because they went broke. Their reputation at that point will be such that having no rec from them wouldn't hurt you any. But seriously, do you wish yourself so ill as to stick with what's clearly a sinking ship with disfunctional officers? There's gotta be a better job.

As for flexible jobs so you can work around your school schedules ... have you asked at the school itself? I know the pay for student jobs on campus often sucks, but not always. Sometimes there are decent jobs to be had, especially for someone who can take on some administrative responsibilities, and colleges are accustomed to making flexible schedules that work for student employees.

[KathiCville]

Agreement with much of what's been said above. You're going to continue to get caught in the crossfire of a no-win situation. If the business is going to the devil because they're not focusing on it, you'll be out of a job soon enough anyway. Falsely accusing someone of stealing is *not* pettiness; it's a serious ethical lapse and/or suggests paranoia.

It seems clear that he's dying to get rid of you, by whatever means necessary short of outright firing, 'cause he made such an j-*ss of himself in front of you with the mistress, the coming back, etc. He's probably hoping to make you so uncomfortable, annoyed and stressed out that you'll leave of your own accord. That's fine. Do it. But do it as much on your own terms as you can.

To the degree you can manage it, ease out of this situation with as few fireworks as possible, not only to maintain some sense of control over your stress level, but because Boss Man sounds volatile and vindictive. For your protection, you should keep a written log of what you've been accused of---date, time, what was said, by whom, and if there were any witnesses. Keep emotion out of what you write---"just the facts, m'am." And keep your record off-site, at home or in your car or bike, where he can't snoop. And make sure none of your e-mails or documents on the office computer contain anything that he could use against you.

As appealing as the idea is of sitting them both down and trying to deal with the situation head on, this pair doesn't sound like they're capable of it---either in their relationship or outside of it. I'd focus more on damage control (meaning, damage to you).

Make sure that you remain professional in all your dealings AND document all incidents.

Maintain a good relationship with Boss Lady by not running to her every time he says something nasty---she'll tire quickly of refereeing. But keep her sufficiently informed that she remains aware of what he's doing. His behavior *should* make her think twice about his value as a business partner, not to mention life partner!

Keep your own perspective as broad as possible by spending time with other upbeat people outside of the workplace. Remember: These are just two people out of thousands you're going to meet in the course of your life. Two years from now you'll barely remember them, except as cartoonish characters.

My two cents'!! Good luck! Get outta there!

[pll]

I guess I will offer my two cents:

• Finding a job is easiest when you have one (i.e. prospective employers take your current job as a signal that you have marketable skills).
• If you are taking classes in a university, consider looking for a research assistantship or work study opportunities. Faculty are frequently looking for RAs and you may have scarce skills: foreign languages? good with Excel, some programming or scripting language? can create web pages? Foreign languages can be an asset in research in history or the social sciences (including business school faculty). I would suggest drafting cover letters and dropping your resume strategically in mailboxes in various departments in the university and the dean's office in each school. You may even target professors whose work you think is interesting.

[tc1]

Been there, done that with two psycho male bosses. Polish up your resume, get a letter of recommendation and leave. Once the boss is telling lies about you for whatever reason you are history.

[Mr. Bloom]

Move on...there's a lot more downside than upside in this situation

[KnottedYet]

Leaving a job like this is the mature response.

Just get out, before it gets worse and you get taken down (or taken to jail as the sociopathic behaviour of the male boss escalates).