the whole "people just invite me to join them because they are trying to be nice"
I sometimes think this, too, but over the years I've come to realize that-----NO, people just aren't THAT nice.

If I was so socially awkward and shy that someone felt sorry enough for me to invite me anyway, even though they didn't like me, then they'd be too afraid that I'd say YES to the invitation, so they wouldn't ask.

That's the tactic I use with obnoxious people. I don't invite them because I'm afraid they'll come!

99% of the shy people I've known (nothing wrong with being shy), were absolutely lovely people on their surface. And--if they had allowed me to get to know them better--probably sterling at their core.

It's just too bad they don't believe it.

Karen