Oh, wow - posting on this forum is really easy - I can think and think about what I want to say, read it over and over and re-word things. Abandon the whole process if I get scared. Basically try to make sure I don't offend anyone or look like an idiot. Notice I used the word "try". Then I can keep checking back to see if anybody responded to what I said, or if I'm just a big loser, and now everybody knows it. This is so much easier than face to face verbal contact! I sometimes feel like I can't put two words together. Work isn't bad, as long as I can avoid talking to customers (usually an Army Major or somebody like that - turns out they aren't that scary once you get to know them). I've been there long enough to be comfortable with most of my coworkers, although I can tell which ones are like I am - the ones that don't make eye contact in the hall (I am slowly overcoming the certainty that those people just hate me). I still have enough insecurity that if I meet someone in the hall, I look furtively to see if they are going to make eye contact or speak, and then I can speak to them - otherwise, I freak out and pull into my shell.

I did try posting on other forums a couple of times before finding TE. Not good! Somebody asked a question about the same car I had just bought, so I spoke up - got lambasted. Same thing happened again. Sure, they did it to everybody, but I took it pretty personally. I don't go there anymore. Another forum I have read before (tri related) - I've seem people get flamed over nothing. Some guy posted a question, and referred to riding fast on the flats at a particular speed (meaning fast for him, clearly) - they roasted the poor guy for the rest of the thread for his definition of "fast", then roasted each other for being mean to him, etc. - all one big laugh, apparently.

Flur, you are amazing!

Bacarver - I'm afraid I'm doing more of an "Ooh! Ooh! Me too!" than anything actually helpful. Just know you are not alone. You are right about the different ways anxiety can manifest itself. Mine is a panicky feeling. As an adult I realized I had had anxiety attacks beginning probably in kindergarten up through high school. I always tried to hide it - I never told my parents, because I thought there was something wrong with me. More performance anxiety than social anxiety with that, though.

Hang in there. Realizing what is really going on helps a lot. I think hearing other people's stories helps a lot too - just knowing you are not alone.