Wow - me too! I can relate to most of TJ_Relic & SlowButSteady's examples. I'm really self-conscious. I've gotten better about it the last few years, but wow - the whole "people just invite me to join them because they are trying to be nice" feeling was (is) just awful. And I had a terrible time when I had to start going to Al-Anon meetings (I used to always show up early for everything, probably thinking I'd be noticed less than if I walked in later). If one or two people walked in, I was relatively okay, but my discomfort would grow with every person that walked into a room, until I'd feel like I was going to have apanic attack.. And I've always hated parties - I tend to lurk in a quiet spot waiting for others to talk to me, instead of taking a risk. And I just can't make small talk. If I get comfortable, I run on a lot, though (just look at me now!). In grade school through high school I always carried a novel to read, and I'd stick my nose in my book as soon as I got to class, until the class started, so I wouldn't have to interact. I also assume everybody is critical of me, and nobody likes me.

As I said, I'm better than I was (dating back to when a huge crisis in my marriage got me into counseling). I have actual friends now - I'm still an isolating homebody, though. I'll never be a social being, or comfortable in public (the shopping by myself thing sounds familiar, and restaurants without a crutch!!).

Anyway, I can relate.