Gifted Children & School: parenting advice

[Irulan]

You don't say how old your kid is, and I think that is a crucial element.

I too have gifted kids. The boredom set in early (first grade) and who the teacher was made all the difference. Some teachers couldn't cope ( ie, tell them to go read a book or go help another kid when they finished their work first) and some were great, constantly coming up with alternative activities and challenges.

Our district starts testing in first grade, offers a one day program for grades 2-4, and then has a magnet school option for grades 5-8. This is a good set up for developmental issues I think.

If he's not bored yet, you might wait.

My opinion is that if you have the option of taxpayer funded education to grab it and don't' look back. Here's why:
-The teacher are specialists in dealing with GATE (Gifted And Talented Education) kids and their issues, whether it perfectionism, excessive curiosity, sensitivity to overstimulation and so on. They understand how to augment and expand the curriculum to challenge and inspire kids.
-they will be with kids like themselves: intelligent, curious, sensitive, a multitude of talents, and they won't be picked on or tortured by the other kids for it.
If you think this kind of behavior isn't in the schools, you are fooling yourself.
-they will develop confidence and self esteem in their unique talents, instead of trying to hide them or fly under the radar because they are different.

Sending my boys to a magnet GATE program provided by our district for grades 5-8 was the best thing we ever did for them. Those years are the worst, middle school, and they had a chance to really become sure of who they were without all the social drama that in endemic in most middle schools.

As for the argument of pulling them out of the home school takes them away from their friends and social life.... I think it's ridiculous. They make new friends at school, from a broader swath of the community, with kids more like themselves. Our GATE school pulled from the whole district, so the boys got to be friends with kids from all over the city – much more diverse socially, culturally and economically than our neighborhood school. I thought it was great to see my kids appreciate others talents and gifts; it made them very comfortable in their own skins.

I'm concerned by the comments that you son is "tired" and home work is a problem. Why? "Tired" can be depressed from a bad day at school. Homework can be a struggle if it is boring, stupid or pointless. Now this is pure speculation, and I did have one who was very easily over stimulated. No matter where he was he always needed some down time to recuperate.

I really support gifted education: we have family members who were talented and bored out of their skulls, which translated into acting out, drug use and eventually dropping out. I support giving a gifted kid all they can handle, within reason, and making sure they have balance in their lives. By balance, I mean making sure the bookworm has a sport or outside activity that they like to do and don’t spend all their time on the sofa reading. I am also very lucky in that we have an excellent program in our district, and understand that not everyone has access to that.

And while not sending your kid to a gifted program won’t eliminate his chances of success, my personal feeling is that supporting their talents as much as possible gives them the tools they need to really understand and use their giftedness. My youngest, who graduates on Sunday, has earned himself almost $50K in merit scholarships this year – he loves to study hard, and sees the benefit of application. I believe some of this is from teachers supporting his intense curiosity in science and math, and helping him to go as far as he possibly can with it.

Sorry for the novel.