He didn't do a thing for my 30th birthday!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I suspect there are some deeper longterm relationship/communication issues going on here. If you really feel the relationship is breaking up and you deeply care about not wanting that to happen, then you need to get some professional counseling- either couple's counseling or just for yourself.
Don't get me wrong, people here are wonderful and always sympathetic and caring.... but bike forum advice is just not going to cut it. Perhaps he cares enough about the relationship to go with you. Learning better communication skills can make or break the situation here, and that takes counseling to learn properly. You would both learn a lot about yourselves AND each other- always a good thing.
A vacation together, flowers, spicing up your sex life, or a new hobby may help temporarily, but longterm solutions usually require deeper exploration of underlying causes. It takes two to make or break a relationship.

[ACG]

Milkbone, lots of hugs for you.

You have the right to be happy, to be with a man who loves you with all his heart and soul, who will remember your birthday even if it means he only has the money for a card and a single flower. Be strong, we are all here rooting for you.

[uforgot]

I totally agree with the last two posts. Sometimes there are things going on that you don't see. Go to a counselor. You may be surprised at what you find out, about yourself, him and the dance you are currently in. It's possible you have patterns that need to be broken or you will play the same scenario out over and over for years. At least it will give you somewhere to start. Take care of YOU and those kids.

[Jen-Jen]

Milkbone- My hubby of 8 years and boyfriend of 3 before that has never done anything for mine. I just think that is the way some guys are wired. Oh sure, my husband will take me out to dinner, but that is only after I say, "So...what ARE we doing for my birthday?"

I have to press for that. I never forget his! We always gets a cool birthday from me.

Sorry about your b-day. But, hey, Happy Birthday from me!

[emily_in_nc]

Y'all -- from the sounds of it, milkbone and bf have already broken up. From the sounds of her posts, counseling, spicing up their sex life, whatever, are not in the cards...he broke up with her via text message, for goodness sakes!

All the suggestions you're making would have been helpful before it reached that point, but it sounds like now it is probably too late for anything other than hugs and support for milkbone.

milkbone, am I wrong? Do you think there's still any hope at all?

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ milkbone }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Emily

[milkbone]

KSH, no he broke up with me via text message -

I appreciate all your support and concerns, it does take 2 and I didn't realize anything was wrong, he won't answer my questions about counseling, and as of tonight on the phone says he still loves me he is just bored, and unhappy, and whats to know how we can fix it, he seems like he is at a loss on how to fix it, and if we cant fix it why bother. I'm hoping he just needs to time to think and maybe we can work things out. I told him I love him and I want to work things out, I want to talk, I'm being good and doing my best to leave him alone and give him space and see what happens, but as I told him I can't promise him how I feel when or if he decides to come back, and he kept asking me what that means, and I just told him once he leaves that I can't promise him how I feel later on.

He has been there for my kids and I and has been wonderful man, and I at least thought I was showing my appreciation for him for that, I would always make it a point to thank him when he did something for them or me, whether it was picking them up at school, or helping them with a cub scout project, or cooking dinner I would thank him or tell him, "You are so good to those boys.....Thank you." Maybe I didn't speak his "language" I'm not sure, I'm not sure what else to do, but take it one day at a time, breathe deep, and ride.

I don't think there is too much else too say, I appreciate everyones time, concern, and hugs. You guys have helped me through your thoughts and words, I have felt all your hugs, and will be taking one step at a time, and move on.

Thanks again TE

((((((((((((((((TE)))))))))))))))

[KSH]

WOW! He did THAT? Oh that is rude. Beyond rude. Especially since you two are living together... you are... right?

Either way... it was completely uncalled for. What a coward. He can put out fires but he can't have the balls to call and talk to you?

You are a better woman than I. I would have told that man good ridden. You are a kind and loving soul to even take the time to consider working it out with him.

[milkbone]

KSH - we have actually been living together for over 3 years. In a relationship for 2, we were close friends, and only friends, living in a roommate situation - Then after a month long discussion we finally decided to become a couple, we were very afraid of the consequences since we had since a great friendship, and we always thought we did the right thing for crossing that bridge. It tooks us about 3 weeks before we began the actual steps to "couple-dom"

I just hope in the end it works out for the best, all of my friends are jaw-dropped shocked about what happened and I keep getting the comment that everyone always thought we were that "perfect" or almost perfect happy couple. One of my other guy friends, thought we were playing a practical joke on him at first....

This too shall past, and hopefully I will be stronger for it.

[BikeMomma]

I have felt all your hugs, and will be taking one step at a time, and move on.

This too shall past, and hopefully I will be stronger for it.

That's my girl -- I'll give you an "A" for attitude - the right one. Keep that chin up, girlfriend.

You sure have some awesome friends here....heck, you brought everyone out of the woodwork, supporting and trying to help you sort out why this dude is how he is (who knows about that one ). Amazing the human spirit in times of need, eh?

Take it easy,
Kim

[uforgot]

My suggestion was for counseling. I never intended it for both of you. I meant for YOU! Find someone who isn't in his department and neutral. There is a reason for all of this and like Lisa said, you aren't going to get any answers here. There may be a bigger picture and deeper issues than what you are seeing. A lot of us have been exactly where you are. The signs were all there, believe me. Don't try to figure this out yourself and quit calling him. Take a breather and try to clear your head. The fact that you are discussing this here speaks volumes. You are reaching out. Find the answers with someone trained to help you find what's best for you.