Today I said to dbf, "You know, my birthday is monday. Go get me something." Off he went. He asked me to come with him, and pick something out, and I said no. I told him I want an actual present (not a gift certificate, etc), and I want it on monday, and I don't want to know how much it cost. As much as he should be able to, he can't read my mind, so I also told him which store I like, and that I really could use a messenger bag. Now he thinks the messenger bag was his idea (if he caught my subtle hint). Probably it will be a messenger bag, but that may have gone right over his head, and it really could be a surprise. Those are good, too.

We've been together for 17 years. He's never forgotten or not done anything for my birthday. Try this technique next year. It works well. Not sure there's much you can do about this year now. Forgiveness is probably your best option.