Etiquette Help

[OakLeaf]

Sheesh, I have no evidence that anyone has every given him the rules. I have no idea what his parents are like or if he has any other friends with fine art in the house. Let's not, once again, assume the worst until you know him personally, OK?

Whoa.... easy there. I agree it's a little facile for me to throw out diagnoses online, and I apologize for that.

But there was no "assuming the worst," OK. For one thing, all I said was it's what I thought of. And, if you've ever known anybody with Asperger's (chances are you have and just didn't know it) their company can be very enjoyable. It's a developmental disorder that has nothing to do with their parents, and it's hardly a worst case scenario.

I was just echoing what others have said, that when someone doesn't automatically understand how their behavior might be offensive to others, indirect approaches have a high chance of going right over their head.

'Kay?

[Veronica]

Geez SK, you should have just told me you didn't want me touching your stuff.

I think the kind, but direct approach will work with your friend.

V.

[Blueberry]

SK - really sorry about the Wonder Poodle

[OakLeaf]

SK - so sorry about the Wonder Poodle. (((((hugs)))))

[jobob]

Hee hee. I think I've had the pleasure of meeting the gent in question, and he seems trainable.

[SadieKate]

Hee hee. I think I've had the pleasure of meeting the gent in question, and he seems trainable.

Yup. A couple of you have (one spent an entire day riding with him). Considering where he's employed, I suspect that he knows plenty of social boundaries.

[snapdragen]

Yup. A couple of you have (one spent an entire day riding with him). Considering where he's employed, I suspect that he knows plenty of social boundaries.

Boundaries? We don't need no stinkin' boundaries.....

[withm]

The next time he picks up something, say in your best shocked voice, "George! (or whatever his name is) I KNOW your parents taught you to look with your eyes, NOT with your hands.

That ought to embarass him right quick and put an end to the problem.

That's what MY parents always said to us anyway. Seemed to work.

[SadieKate]

Whoa.... easy there. I agree it's a little facile for me to throw out diagnoses online, and I apologize for that . . .

I was just echoing what others have said, that when someone doesn't automatically understand how their behavior might be offensive to others, indirect approaches have a high chance of going right over their head.

'Kay?

Thank you very much, Oakleaf.

I don't know yet that he doesn't automatically understand how his behavior is different. I haven't had the opportunity to try the "kind, but direct approach" but based on past history with him it works. I couldn't articulate the "kind" part and that is why I asked the question in the first place. I needed the right words.

There were many great ideas in the first responses which answered my very simple question.

And people behave differently in museums and galleries than they do in a friend's home as their perception is that the rules are different. He simply needs a kind explanation of the rules.

Thank you all for the kind condolences for my Wonder Poodle. I was fortunate to have had his friendship for twelve wonderful years. OK, gotta go find the Kleenex box.

[indigoiis]

"If you pick it up, you have to dust it."

and hand him a dust cloth.

[Trek420]

"and if you break it you bought it"

and take his charge cards deed to the house .... pink slip to the car ....