I think the gist of what your husband says is true - you don't want a big squashy saddle - more firm tends to be more comfortable BUT - women are built differently than men and the saddle he finds comfortable may be a torture device to you.

A few things to remember:

If you are new to riding you backside will take some time to adjust to a saddle. Expect to have a bruised feeling over you sit bones after you ride, which will tend to lessen and go away the more regularly you are using the bike, BUT a saddle should not touch, rub, numb or otherwise affect your soft tissues. Some people (like me) prefer a cut out or a channel, others are good with just a nice firm saddle.

You will need a saddle that is matched to the width of your sit bones - it is typical that women will need a wider saddle than most men, which may be why your husband's hand me down saddle is so uncomfortable. If your sit bones are falling off the edge.... ouch!

Squashy (gel, padding, etc) isn't always better or more comfortable - if you sink into a saddle it can cause all sorts of rubbing and pressure problems that a firm saddle won't. A firm saddle may cause your sit bones more discomfort in the sort run, but that will ease. A saddle that rubs will *never* get better.