Queer-eye for the straight woman

[Veronica]

Frankly, I'm kind of wondering who has been "run off"? Sure there have been people who have come and posted a bit and then moved on. But were they "run off" or did they just choose to move on? How do you know when someone has been run off? I guess when they post that they're leaving. But I've always viewed those posts as a plea for attention. But hey I'm just an insensitive clod who eats meat, but only humanely raised and only cage free eggs, believes in God, but not in heaven (don't ask!), refuses to shop at Wal Mart, tries desperately to not buy goods made in China and speaks her mind. What do I know?

Oh and I spent the first 18 years of my life on welfare, so I do understand why some people cannot make the choices I have made. I am extremely thankful that I have been fortunate in my life and can now choose to follow my conscience without worrying about where my next meal is coming from. Don't hate me because I've been lucky.

I think movement is typical of a lot of forums. There's a watch forum I drop in on once or twice a year now that I was formerly very active in.

I think not taking things so personally would help. It's not always about "you."

V.

[redrhodie]

I think KnottedYet was pointing out that we are being baited to keep this thread alive by someone who actually may not be who she claims to be.

[Zen]

No ones ever been banished from the kingdom as it were, but I do know of two people who chose to leave.
Sometimes people take things too personally or don't have the wherewithal to simply brush it off.

[SadieKate]

No ones ever been banished from the kingdom as it were, but I do know of two people who chose to leave.
Sometimes people take things too personally or don't have the wherewithal to simply brush it off.

I beg to differ. TE does have a history prior to April 2007.

I know of at least one poster who was banned. The poster persisted in disobeying forum rules.

[Veronica]

Hey Zen I really like your end quote. I'm going to turn that into a poster for my classroom. And it's given me an idea for Read Across America Day which is celebrated on Dr. Seuss's birthday or close to it, if it's a weekend day.

V.

PS Yes, I do remember someone being asked to leave, but that's different from being "run off." Running off makes me picture pitch forks and brooms in hand...

[SadieKate]

Being asked to leave implies a choice. Said poster had their ability to post blocked. Matter of fact, there are three.

"Being run-off" - periodically I do feel that this forum has a supply of stones at hand. But that doesn't mean that there aren't remedies.

[OakLeaf]

Matter of fact, there are three.

The only one of those I recognize was a 'bot, not a real poster at all. The other two UIDs sure sound like spammers, though I don't know that.

Trolls are another thing, Knotted is right that they're better ignored than banned (especially since they'll only come back with a new UID).

Lori, yours wasn't the post that most of us found offensive. Also, conflict isn't necessarily a bad thing. But if my sarcasm was a little too dry, then I apologize, and I also embrace the apologies of those others who have apologized.

[sundial]

It is a store for plus size woman because I found that is one of the few stores that carry nice shirts and blouses that will fit my shoulders and chest.

I know your pain. Blouses for *the big girls*, broad shoulders, and small(ish) waists are not easy to find. You either have to take it in at the waist or you get used to extra drape of fabric.

On the upside, I did learn that big girls make excellent air bags when you endo.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

PS Yes, I do remember someone being asked to leave, but that's different from being "run off." Running off makes me picture pitch forks and brooms in hand...

I found a list once that showed 2 or 3 "banned" former posters from a long while back on TE. It happens, and probably was totally justified.

As to being "run off"....well I can only recall a couple of people who would get angry and indignant when anyone disagreed with their statements. They would dramatically announce their departure, sometimes more than once, (Oh! the terrible loss!) and then lurk to see the reaction of course. They loved it when folks pleaded with them to stay. Total drama queens. If someone wants to leave a forum, just leave, without making Grande Announcements with a trumpet fanfare. I do not consider such drama antics to be true examples of being "run off".

TE really is friendlier and more accepting and diverse than any other forum I have ever come across on the internet.

[KnottedYet]

No ones ever been banished from the kingdom as it were, but I do know of two people who chose to leave.
Sometimes people take things too personally or don't have the wherewithal to simply brush it off.

My favorites are the ones who leave with great fanfare, talk trash about TE forums on another women's bike forum, then come quietly back to TE.

While that is deeply offensive (yes, I'm a d*ke, but not a "vegetarian earth goddess witch," just ask my minister at the next church potluck) it does say a LOT about the quality of TE forums. Despite vitriolic diatribes elsewhere, this is still a "home" on the internet for women cyclists and they come back.

In large part, I think, due to the amount of LEARNING that goes on here. We all love bikes. We all understand that love. And through bikes we meet folks we'd be unlikely to meet otherwise. We do a little bit of looking through someone else's eyes, simply because we *do* see eye-to-eye on bikes and riding.

Yeah, we *all* put our pedals in our mouths (good one, IFJane!) but we take a step back, take a second look, and work to understand what's going on from another's perspective. (and I don't "go after" the woman who said these things about me, because I can understand the closeted world she's struggling in don't want to "run her out" of TE. I know how I'd feel if I lost TE, and I can imagine how she'd feel if she lost TE. It's a learning experience.)

Now, if we could just rule the world...

[LoriO]

ok, group hug (((((((hug)))))))))

Now, anyone want to go shopping???

[KnottedYet]

YEAH! I vote we go to LoriO's store!!!!

[OakLeaf]

ok, group hug (((((((hug)))))))))

Now, anyone want to go shopping???

YEAH!!!! But I still need Nigel from "The Devil Wears Prada." I need him on retainer.

[bmccasland]

I may live in one, or at least a third world country... but I have consistantly gotten good service at Banana Republic. YMMV, but try going some day other than a busy weekend afternoon. I took a pretty silk paisley skirt in last saturday morning and said I wanted to find tops to go with the skirt, for work, and they pulled things out. This was after a trip where I mentioned the skirt, and they told me to wait and bring it in. They wanted to know if I was looking for "work" or more casual, and pulled things accordingly. When I couldn't decide between two sweaters, to complete the look, we asked another sales person for his opinion. They grasp the concept that I only wanted to buy ONE, but which one? AND they even suggested that I didn't need to buy both.

Unfortunately for my curvy hips, I have to have their slacks tailored, BUT they're made so that tailoring is easier, as compared to other brands of women's clothes. The difference is how the waist band is put on, compare women's slacks to men's slacks - the men's are made to be tailored, but most women's isn't - the men's will have a verticle seam hiding under the center back belt loop, but most women's slacks / skirts won't. I'm not happy about needing to have things tailored, but to get the fit right, it's a necessary evil.

Anyway, I'm a happy Banana Republic customer.

[teigyr]

LoriO, I appreciated your story and I think it's great that you had such a fun time.

It's pretty difficult to offend me and I have noticed that there are times when someone innocently says something and people take it for more than what it is. I realize that in this forum, we have a lot of diversity and there are some people who are more sensitive than others. I know that there can be word ownership (ie one group can say it but it's bad if someone outside says it) too. I also know I accidently offended someone once because of poor sentence structure.

I think people can be "run out". The written word can be harsh and we can't tell inflection or feeling, especially in criticism.

So, LoriO, please stay