Dear So and So

[Wahine]

Dear extended family,

When a man on his death bed tells you his wishes for his funeral and wake, you should listen. I can't imagine that you are being so selfish as to suggest going against his wishes completely so it is more convenient for you. A service and tea at a church is not an "Irish wake" and "celebration of life." He didn't want tears. He didn't want a somber funeral. And besides, I can't think of a more wonderful way to honor a very colorful vibrant man.

Also, death and serious illness should not be the accepted as the only incidents to bring family together. Let's try to change that, shall we? And if you don't want to, please don't mention it with a faux sense of sadness. I'd love to get to know you again.

Love,
Firenze

And. . .

Dear Me,

Get on your bike more often. I think I hear him crying. You love it, you like spinervals, so get of your lazy bum and get on the bike. Don't let the winter get to you, just keep thinking about how wonderful it will be in the spring to be faster and stronger than you were in the fall.

Love Always,

Me

What is it with people not wanting to honour someone's wishes.

And....

you said "bum". I miss bum... and toque... and tensor bandage... and

Dear co-workers and clients,

Regardless of how it sounds to you, I do not say aboot. I say about. Good English about. You say abOWt, like you're getting hurt right in the middle of the word. Yes, I am Canadian. Yes I will always say things differently. But if one more person accuses me of saying aboot, I may just have to jersey 'em, eh!?

Sincerely,

Proud Canadian Import