Is there a safety course offered in your area? A lot of police departments sponsor a kids' cycling safety clinic every year. For adults, maybe there's the kind of thing that Silver's going to be teaching. And if so, I think HE should take the course with you.

Do you know any male cyclists who have kids, that you could get to talk with him? I think it's very hard for men to open up with women about their fears without getting all controlling, and it really sounds like he's got some PTSD going on.

Most of the time this subject arises it's when someone WANTS to get over their fear and is having trouble doing so. It's going to be tough if he doesn't want to, which is how you make it sound. My next door neighbors actually made the compromise you're making now - he can dirt bike all he likes, but no motorcycling on the street