Dear New Sports Editor at the weekly paper:

I know you're not from around here. I know you don't understand why we need to put our baseball registration form in the paper. I know you don't know the difference between "their" and "there". (Making the by-line "staff reports" and swiping most of the article from our FAQ does not absolve you.) But could you please just RESPOND when I email you important announcements?? Don't make me have to call you and hear that you read it already. What are you, 15?

Leaving out important announcements and then using two full column for your YOUR IGNORANT MUSINGS is just wrong. You won't help me, I'm not going to help you fill your space, either, when the only thing going on in July is baseball.

Sign ups are in less than 2 weeks. YOU ARE NOT HELPING. I'm not the only league official you're going to tick off--softball and soccer are coming up, too. You're not from around here. You actually could lose your job over this.

Signed,
Not Asking Too Much