There are two types of friends. Those that ask for help, and those that give help when it wasn't asked for.
A friend of mine just had to take in her grandchildren,and while she would never ask for help, I felt I had to do something. She doesn't know how she'll afford the extra expenses of raising these kids, so I just drove to her house, handed her an envelope with some cash, told her it wasn't for her, it was for the kids, hugged her, and left. Don't think about how she'll feel about the help, just help. If you disguise it as help for her kids, she might be more open to it.