Prenups?

[IFjane]

Financially, you mention what you have...but does he have something of equal, but different, value that would equalize?

My encouragement is that if you are sure that this is a mutual relationship and that you would both be forgiving of the other's flaws and mistakes, then skip the pre-nup.

Thank you all for your comments and advice. I am still torn on this issue. To his credit, Michael is the one who brought up the subject of a prenuptial agreement. I had not even thought about it. And even more to his credit, I am the one who has much more to lose than he. He has some investments but the potential (trust fund) for me to have much more exists. My children are grown, but eventually they will inherit the same trust I should inherit.

I feel the same about prenups - that they imply that the marriage might fail; and they do make divorce easier.

Keep the comments coming - and I will let you know what we decide.

Velobambina - thank you! Yes, I will tell you all about the wedding plans. Definitely a cycling theme, but that's for a new thread.

[Starfish]

I feel the same about prenups - that they imply that the marriage might fail; and they do make divorce easier.

Just a thought...depending on how they're written, isn't is possible that a prenup might also be a strong deterrent to a divorce, depending on the circumstances?

I too hate the idea of prenups, and would prefer things like wills, revocable living trusts, or what-have-you.

However, as one who got married (after 3 solid years with the person) with a THIS IS IT FOREVER, and WHAT'S MINE IS YOURS FOREVER attitude, I can say that unforeseeable, unimagineable injuries can happen that might make a prior agreement better than struggling through the legal system.

That said, I don't know what I would do next time around. I am a different person after my experience. Probably avoid the next time around!

[SouthernBelle]

Wills are generally not recordable documents until after death. They can also be changed. They have also been known to disappear.

You can draw up a pre-nup, record it, then if the original disappears, the recorded copy is as good as.

I've had quite good luck with them.

However, this differs from state to state.

One advantage to them is that both parties have a clear understanding of their financial situation and what the other expects.

I've seen some nasty situations, right at the graveyard.

I've also seen surviving SO with no marriage certificate kicked out of a home.

They aren't romantic, but they are binding. There are other ways to do it though.

[Mr. Bloom]

To his credit, Michael is the one who brought up the subject of a prenuptial agreement. I had not even thought about it. And even more to his credit, I am the one who has much more to lose than he.

I think that's a sincere expression of love from him and he's putting it on the line.

Now, the question is whether you'll put it on the line. Sounds like you can't make a bad decision here But I acknowledge that it's easier to put something on the line that you don't have than it is to put something on the line that you do have

FWIW, in Indiana, the courts typically exclude inherited assets in divorce distributions. In addition, if you inherit a trust, you might have the option of keeping the trust intact providing further protection to you (but I'm not a lawyer...)