Prenups?

[RoadRaven]

Well... we were married 22 years ago and pre-nups were about to make a big splash here as something one did if one was a hollywood star...

He had lots (land, house, assets) - I had nothing... Now we both have each other, kids and lots of bits and pieces.

I really do not like the idea of pre-nups, as this admits the relationship may fail... BUT (BIG qualifier here)... I know there are two situations I would agree to a pre-nup...

1. if it is a second relationship and there are children involved. The children's assets and quality of life MUST be protected in event of a realtionship breakdown, or the injury or death of their parent.

2. if one partner has accrued significant wealth... such as the situation I was in when I was 20. I would have been happy to sign a pre-nup to PROVE that I was in it for the long haul and the relationship was NOT about me getting assets... (I know some of his family wondered about my motivation as we were married 6 weeks after our "first kiss").



KSH and Mr Silver... I think the legal and social tie makes the marriage different from committing to each other without "official" mariage vows... my sister-in-laws and friends who have lived together (with respective partners - not each other!) have all said this to me in one way or another. Before marriage, they thought nothing would be different - but they had only lived together for a year or two - not seven

. I think in some ways the social expectation of a married couple (how they will do things, be with each other, divide chores, roles in raising children) has a greater influence... and these expectations are slightly different from those who have made exactly the same committment without tying the knot...



Congratulations on your decision... although I know you have already made the committment to each other - it is nice to affirm this to everyone around you with such a celebration
Enjoy YOUR day.