Thank you.

I know my parents were concerned when I told them I was back in contact with her and they said not to get sucked in. I haven't seen her in maybe 15-20 years so I think I'm a bit more mature now?!! In retrospect I had so much fun with her but all the signs were there. I didn't realize my parents saw all those signs also but that figures.

In talking to her sister, I learned she had been working as a H.S. teacher. She had a horrible principal that ultimately got fired but (and this is according to the sister), my friend was picked on. Also, she had been married and her soon to be ex-husband would get mad when he'd get home and find she hadn't been out of bed all day. He was deemed insensitive for not understanding though I might've been mad too had I been in that situation.

They have a lot of pets but since her sister takes care of them, there is no responsibility from my friend. My friend's sister is having surgery in a few weeks and another family member will come take care of her because my friend can't.

I'd say there is some enabling going on...I know my friend's sister isn't forcing my friend to do anything. She jokes and says my friend has been diagnosed bi-polar but she keeps waiting for the manic stage to show up so her garage will get cleaned.

I remember a long time ago, when we were in H.S., we went to take the pony for a walk. (Yes, I had a pony that I used to take for walks!) Something happened, I can't remember the sequence but the pony reared (my friend was in control of her) and I got upset and said something to the effect that she was doing something wrong. After that, my friend had asthma and could no longer be around the pony. Looking back at that and looking at now, where it seems like each hurtful situation causes something else she can't be around, it makes sense but that is scary in so many ways.

I know I can't force anything. When I was married to my depressed and bi-polar ex-husband I'd say things like "c'mon, I bet you'll feel better if we just go to the movies". I learned that sometimes people, when they feel forced, strike out and not in good ways.

Anyway, thank you all for some good things to think about. I still need to see her, she's out of state. It'll be hard, I learned she chain smokes (and her public assistance insurance won't pay for drugs to help stop that) and I am OH so allergic to that!

When I called her last night, also, she thanked me for calling. I learned that she (my friend) doesn't "make contact" with people either by computer or phone or whatever. She kept saying how much she appreciated me calling. So that is a good thing, I think.